Song of the Week. "Battle of New Orleans"

August 01 2008
Hey this was like my favorite song a few years ago. It is by Johnny Horton. A real old song but really fun. I hope you enjoy!

need prayer

July 31 2008
My uncle had cancer a while back and faught it. The other day he went in for a check up, and the doctors found a spot around his lungs. He has said before that if it came back he wouldn't fight again. I ask that all of you wil just pray for him and our family.

the next season.

July 31 2008

starting the school year sounds like the starting of a new chapter to me. i just turned a chapter 2 months ago, actually that season seemed like a sad one for me, but i've managed to still retain happiness throughout it all.

its seems like i haven't been here long enough, but the turning of a page doesn't wait on what you think. ready or not.

 but actually, i think im looking forward to it all.

i really am.

 but anyways wrapping it all up ive been chilling out, finishing up a few things, praying to the God that breathes out stars and then holds me in his hands, and it sounds cliche but i trust him with every worry i have. He is gonna carry me.


it's for you!!!!!

July 30 2008
so, this is for know exactly who you are!  the flowers might be pretty, and they may smell wonderful, but that electric fence could kill brain cells!!!  :) :P  but seriously, you could grow your own flowers.  <3  remember.  and here's a song for you!

Maybe it is Just Me...

July 30 2008
No it is not today and no it will not be tomorrow.
No it is not that night and no it is not those days.
No it is not that one dance and no it is not the lack of dances.
No it is not her and I know it is not him.
No it is not that airport and no it is not that one van ride.
No it is not that morning and no it is not that night.
Maybe simply it is just you and it is just me.
No it is not the fact that I can't live with out you.
It is that I can, but I hate myself for it.
No it is not the distance.
It is the ground traveled.
No it is not the future.
It is our simple past.
No it is not that I really like you.
It is that I absolutely hate that I love you.


July 29 2008
I finally got my permit today. I'm so excited! Now I just have to learn how to drive which is not going to be easy. Hopefully I won't get hurt.

It was fun while it lasted

July 29 2008
Wow. Has facebook officially killed phusebox?  I'm pretty sure I hadn't logged on in two years or something, ever since I got a facebook. This site was so cool, and I know a lot of hard work was put into it, and yet another more well known site was able to come along and beat it out. Sad. Should I unjoin since I am obviously not keeping up with stuff here?

Drum Corps International

July 26 2008

So I went to see DCI- a drum corps show. 


The band went and this stuff blew my mind. It was all drums and more drums and a little brass.

Anyway in closing I say:



July 25 2008


July 25 2008

psycho/awesome dance teacher

July 24 2008
So tonight I had my first technique dance class...and I made it! They already had half a dance so I had to learn that plus tonight's, but it was still really fun. I do have to wear leotards and tights and ballet shoes to every class, but I've always wanted to wear all the cool dance clothes. I just never had a reason for them. Now I do, and I'm so excited. It was a little overwhelming though. I have this folder thing that I have to bring to every class. There's all these rules for the dance team. I also have to remember which class I have that night so I wear the right shoes. 4 dances+1 technique class=a lot of shoes. I never knew there could be so many French words for simple and not-so-simple dance moves. And I also didn't know that technique never changes. You just alter the technique for each dance genre. That's about the only thing I learned tonight that I remember. Oh, I almost forgot! My dance teacher is like the dance teacher I've always wanted-crazy and cool and pyscho all in one. She's super skinny and old. It's great. lol So yeah, that's my first dance class for this year experience.  

In direct reply to Carmen's Post (the 'one'

July 24 2008
Just so all of you can read this I put it in "Thought" form instead of just remark.No, I think that God doesn't have someone picked out for us. Or the perfect one in mind. When Amber and Aaron were doing their premarital marriage counseling their Christian counselor told them that every 5 years they would find someone more compatible with themselves then their spouse and another 5 years someone even more compatible. So if God had someone in mind wouldn't it be the one that was absolutely compatible? I also know many Christian families fall apart because of divorce even when they prayed for the right person time and time again. I believe that God does have a will for us, but I do not believe that he says "You, Austin, will marry so and so in the month of July." no that is silly to say you have free will but God says that you will do this and  you have to do that or that you have to marry her. He even gives you a choice to obey his will or not. It is indeed his will that you go to church, whether you do that or not is your choice. It is also his will that you read your Bible once again your choice.Now bare with me this all relates back. So ok, when it comes to bigger things such as large scale ministry work, I think that you still have a choice but it will get done whether you let God use you or not. Say that you know God put going to Brazil to do ministry work on your hear, and you don't go. He will get someone else to because it will get done. Not much longer I promise I will get relate this back. So if God lets you make those kind of choices I also believe that God can use you no matter what, where, how, and when. That means that if you are praying "God should I move to NC and start a church or should I start one here?" I would say that he would answer it, but I believe that he would probably answer it "You make the choice that is best for your family" Because no matter where you are God Can Use You! Now it is not to say that he doesn't care because he does. He cares so much that he knows every hair on your head. So if he can use you no matter what concerning something as big as ministry then I am sure he can use you no matter what concerning marriage. Now, if he can use you no matter what or when doesn't that mean that he can teach you something where ever you are? So, in that theory I believe that where ever you are that probably means that you are supposed to be there in that moment. Now if you are at a dead point in your relationship with Christ you can be taught something but you should work to remove your self from that stalled period  in your life. 

my dreams

July 24 2008

i've been thinking about things i want to do with my life.

       so far i think you guys know i'd like to go in the field of counseling one day. leaning towards working with teenage girls or married couples.

   another dream i'd like to be a christian music artist. and sing country style music. because i love the sound of country but i think the lyrics aren't always so great. the thing with that is i'd have to to get some singing lessons, and learn the guitar.

    finally, i think it's been put on my heart to work for a pregnacy center , and do sonograms, and give women hope.

    so i think i'd like to find a  real good guy one day

(i think he should look like sheriff Zach Tyler

 from love's unending legacy),

i'd like him to be my best friend,

and for us to go running together,

and i will want to make him happy.

get married and maybe have a kid.

i'd like a boy.

 I'd like to be active in a small church,

maybe be a preacher's wife.

have a faith based, not hypocritical relationship

with God.

oh me & Erin Conner will still be best friends!

live in the country.

i wouldnt mind living in Tennessee that much.

Georgia, & Alabama & the Carolinas sound nice,too.

oh and my house should be on the small side but not to small.

where people who don't have very much will feel comfortable,

but rich people will feel comfortable,too.

alright well those are my dreams.

Song of the Week. "Amen"

July 24 2008
Yes I know that Kid Rock is not the best person in the word but this song strays far from what he normaly does. He makes me half wonder if he is christian. Maybe he his not but heck he is standing up for what is right, which just so happens to be more than I can say for some. He is also kinda, bare with me here, standing up for chistianity. It seems like he cares like honestly cares. Maybe though I am just analyzing it way too much. Mabe like he says we just need to stop being so uptight, just admit our mistakes and apologize. Not a direct quote but "I'm not a saint but I believe in what is right." Powerful line from him. Please enjoy Kid Rock's "Amen"

the 'one'

July 24 2008

as many of you know, i hate being wrong. so, i did some research on the subject of 'one particular person that God has for you'.  I was, indeed, wrong in part.  No where in God's Word does it say that God has a particular person for you.  Yes, there are many people you could choose, but God has a plan for everyone one of our lives and i believe that we can choose to follow it or not.  if we pray for God to give us the desire to do His will, he will.  I believe also that that concept applies to marriage and dating.  You should pray and ask God if this person is in His plan for you. 

Jeremiah 29:11-13
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

This is the verse that makes me think that there is someone in God's plan specifically made for you.  Just like God specifically made Eve for Adam, I think that God might have made a special person for most of us.  I think that we should pray that if He has a specific person in mind for your life, they will love you as much as God does. 

And another thing I want to say is that another person, no matter who they are cannot complete you.  If you are whole in Christ, you will not need anyone else to fill a void in your heart.  If you are not, you pour yourself unnecessarily into someone else, and you become needy and still incomplete.  So don't put your whole life into someone else just yet.  First you should be complete in Christ and know that he makes you whole, not someone else. 

Matthew 6:21

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

So i think that if you believe in your heart that God has a person designed for you and you seek after Him fervently, he will give you what you desire-a special person made specifically for you.

Psalm 37:3-4

"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.  Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."

dude! things got awkward!

July 22 2008

I noticed the moment I walked in things were gonna be weird.

I love people, like I had no problem with anything.

But they did, what happened was like history, and I got over it.

Apparently the didn't.


one blog to read its this one-this is me. & im sorry.

July 22 2008

okay i admit it.

 my totally well thought out blogs are really big copouts for what i truely mean! They are never really what i'd rather just say. i guess because we all think to be heard we have to be deep and have ...long-hardcore-i think about worldpeace at breakfast-and solve unanswered questions at lunch-and have life figured out by the time i get in my pjs- kinda people.

and maybe you do that, good-4-you   but i really don't.... i wake up with stumbling to the bathroom- i dont even close the door sometimes-i forget to brush my teeth- i look in my fridge 8 times before i decide nothing is in there that wasn't before- & i go to bed and fall asleep to half a sentence during a prayer.

 well. its not me, & i admit that. im simple, and im sick of being what i'm not to get people to hear what i have to say, i guess this is an apology .. to myself.

Last thing i apologize you all on how i have been putting up this front of myself, i've been trying to be "different" because i feel like i am just not err... enough, and that's wrong because i know i am more than enough! it was really selfish of me and i'm sorry for my immaturity.i promise i will just be me though it might be hard for awhile i probably wouldn't have wrote this, if i hadnt gotten the email i got made me realize a lot. im truely sorry.


The Dark Night

July 21 2008

(the new Batman movie me and Tyler saw last night)


That movie was incredible, I cried.

but i cray in every movie so... no point.

But it's awesome.



just thought you guys would like to know.... this  feels weird, like I don't belong on this website?

or in the social group on this website... whatever? 

I Love You

July 21 2008
I really think that these words are too powerful to be used within the teenage dating realm. Removing these words from a relationship fixes a lot of the problems afterwards. Love is one of the most powerful emotions you can feel.

dance team decisions

July 20 2008
So I found out today at church from my dance teacher that one of the girls on the dance team had to quit. I'm the next person in line, and I really want to do it. I get to do four dances, and I have lots more dance time which is totally awesome. Except now I can only help my youth leader with cheerleading one day a week. I was looking forward to that because I miss cheerleading so much. Also, if I'm on dance team then I won't be in a class with my best friend. I talked to her about it, and she said I should do it. And we can always do a duet together. I've wanted to make the dance team for the past three years, and now I can be on it. I just don't know if I should. What do you guys think?

Mime camp/ band camp/ general week

July 20 2008


Mime Camp was awesome. My profile pic shows me, carmen, todd, and kenny playing worship around the campfire. I got really close to a few people that I haven't been close to in awhile and it feels good.



Band Camp was OK. I had to learn all i had missed in a day so i did alright. Got a freaking huge blister that severely limits my playing, but over all it was a good time and a time well spent.



My  week was full. I saw Batman on friday at the drive in. I should have been at a lock in but I missed it(sorry). And in general what a good week it has been in the life of Jacob. 


July 19 2008

the elaboration...

so you think you can love me and leave me to die.

 They say they love me, but they watch me fall without offering a hand.if that's love i dont believe in it anymore.

you can't love and leave!!

you can love and let go, i do believe that. if you love then when they fall and won't take your hand you have to let them take the hard hit at the bottom or they will fall again.

So love allows discipline, but love also gives correction.

but i don't see how love leaves death to be.

what about the deserved punishment of death would love try and defend the guilty? no.

Now i am contradicting myself,right?

no, because for actions there is consequences, love never interferes with consequences.

 Love allows death.But love does not forsake death.

here we go again.

so you think you can love me and leave me to die

i need help. there's this pit i cant get out of,

you say you love me but i can barely hear you from the distant will do nothing to help me? then you dont love me, ill gladly take the punishment for my sins, my crime, my wrong,but i need help with getting out of this. i need you keep me going the right way even when i am tired, and don't know the way? then just walk with me . 2 is better than 1. but dont leave me with echoing "i love you"s.

so i once asked this question "if you love me would you let me do what i wanted, or would you stop me because you loved me."

 The answer I got was something like "i'll let you make your own choices and desisions!" no! (1 Corrinthians 13) LOVE NEVER FAILS!Love will interfere. Love dos not allow PAIN.  The correct answer is "because i love you i will stop you."

don't leave them to die!


"so you think you can love me and leave me to die.

You just watch me take my last breathe

and close these blue eyes.

I don't believe in love

because you are there but you won't try

you watch while the knife just stay stabbed in my side.

you kiss me

and take my already barely enough breathe away,

and you ignor my whispers of "help me!"

and turn to walk away.

forsake me, you mistake me. oh Lord, just take me.

i have nothing else left in this place.

not hope.not peace.not love.

i think death its time to face."

just let me...

July 18 2008

"so you think you can you love me & leave me to die"

 ive been thinking about that phrase,what a powerful statement, and right now i feel if i could speak out my life in one sentence, this is it. im left with the love that leaves me hurting, but hurting might be what i need.

ill elaborate on this later.

Song of the Week. "Ways & Means"

July 17 2008
Well I was just kinda listening to my ipod and this came on. Shy of some parts if you listen to the lyrics it is a good song. Well please enjoy Ways & Means by Snow Patrol.


July 17 2008




July 17 2008

its funny to watch people change. its funny to see how they like to push in your face they are more happy with out you then they were with you. its funny to sit back and think wow i put so much into them for so many years yet now they say they couldn't care less. its funny to feel forgotten and not needed.

its funny...laugh


July 17 2008

one year.... so basically i am hawaiian now


nah jj

but if i could go back in time and change one thing 

is just smack myself in the face and say dry up them tears

because its gonna be a heck of a ride





My Answer

July 16 2008

1. What do you think love is?

2. Is it an emotion? or a choice?

3. Does it end?

4. If you are really in love does that mean that you should get married?

5. Does God have one "right" person for everyone? and if so is that the person you are to marry?


1&2. Love is indeed a choice. Because God choose to love us, and gave us the choice to love him Tyler I agree with you on that. I don't think that God would give us something as big as love up to our heart to make that decision. If I am not wrong it says in the Bible the the man who follows his heart is foolish.  And in that same way you can shoose to stop loving someone. Love in a relationship should be highlighting of eachother's best qualities. 

3. I think that true love CAN end. I believe that if you truely love someone than you have given them a lot. And no one is perfect, therefore someone could screw that up and throw it away. An extreme amount of trust and communication is lost there, and if you can't truely give them everything again then you don't truely love them again.

4. No, I think that even though you might truely love someone with everything you have that does not mean that you could work well in marriage together.

5. No I don't believe that God as a right person for everyone...or anyone of that matter. I believe if that was so then there would  be no divorces. But I have seen too many good christian families fall apart because of a divorce. And there was no way that that person was right for them. And before they married they prayed and consulted mentors and it still just didn't work. I am also convinced that God's free will really kicks in there and he lets you marry who you wish. Because the simple fact is, that God can use you where ever you are, and in any circumstances.


So I will end it with this quote from  Plato, "You often fall in love with what you want a person to be instead of what they are."


I hate July

July 15 2008

the class of 2010 at creek wood lost a classmate chase last year on the third of july. now we lost two more on the 4th of this year shelby and jamie. r.i.p girls i love yall now everyone saids on the 5th of next year everyone is gonna be hiding since everyone is dieing. keep those familys in prayer.


July 14 2008
i'm home!!! PARTY!!!!!! text or call me, i'm ready to get out and party with my peoples! Love and miss you guys


July 14 2008

wonderful movie (wedding crashers), wonderful quote:

"True love is your soul's recognition of it's counterpoint in another."


July 14 2008

So i have a question for all of you. 

This week, when you are with your friends, who do they see?  Do they see you, or do they see the Christ that is in you?


I was asked this at church today and i thought it was pretty thought provoking.  


k love you bye 

K Austin i am just going to...

July 14 2008

 answer in a thought so yeahh i figure i might as well tell everyone what i think love really is.

1. What do you think love is?

2. Is it an emotion? or a choice?

3. Does it end?

4. If you are really in love does that mean that you should get married?

5. Does God have one "right" person for everyone? and if so is that the person you are to marry?


Love is a very powerful emotion.  I also believe that it is a choice, here is why: you have the decision to say okay i hate this person.  Therefore you must have the decision to go the opposite way.  It is a choice because God gave us the ability to make choices and that is also why not everyone loves God.  If love was only an emotion we would not be able to control it and our "love" would be running wild.

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 

This verse just tells you what the greatest love is.  Now if i were to believe this verse i think i would have to believe that true love never ends.  Sure you might get tired of a person or thing.  But if you truly love them then you will never stop caring for them.  It is a pretty difficult topic but i would have to believe that Christ is the only one with this true love.  He died for everyone of us.  Even the ones who hated him, he still cared enough to lay down his life.


I dont think that just because you suddenly feel like you are in love with a person means hat you should get married.  You need to seek deep council with wise people that may help you realize why you are in love with this person.  


And no i do not believe that God has one right person for everyone.  I think that the people who go without being married are happier unmarried.  If it wasnt so then they would be married.  And if they are not married when they are supposed to be then they are not following God's will. 



so yeah thats basically my answers to those questions. Feel free to disagree, but if you do please voice it because i am open to learning. 


And if you are truly searching on what love really is

what better place to look than the Bible.


1 Corinthians 13



Not be moved....

July 14 2008
Ok, I've been thinking about writing this for some time but was waiting for the right time. I think now is. So here it goes.
I've learned a lot in the past year. Things that I didn't necessarily want to learn the way I did but they were things I needed to learn. But, I can't blame the way I learned them on anyone but myself. We all have choices and decisions that we make. Some good and some bad. I've learned that I'm not who I once was. I've come a long way but still have a long way to go. My one problem is that I allow the my past to define who I am. I have found that I truly am my hardest critic. It is so much easier to say that I'm moving on and letting my past be just that my past then to actually walk that out. 
I remember very clearly what I chose to do on July 16th last year. I chose to do some things that I have yet to get over. I never want to find myself at that place again. I want this year to be different. I want God to take complete control of me and use me for Him. I want this year to be the point that I totally become all that God wants me to become. I really don't want my past to define me anymore. Pastor Steve was talking about how the battles we face are spiritual battles and how when we have done all that we can just to stand. Reggie Dabbs talked about standing against the "lions" in our lives. Not running from them but chasing them down and killing them. Not being moved. I will not let the choices that I've made to decide what I do from here on out. 
"I am a great sinner, but my God is a great Savior." - John Newton 
(I like the way they said it at church better.) "I am a great sinner, but my God is a Greater Savior."

So I just wanna know.

July 13 2008

I honestly wanna know what you guys...and girls have to say. So please answer these questions if you have time.

1. What do you think love is?

2. Is it an emotion? or a choice?

3. Does it end?

4. If you are really in love does that mean that you should get married?

5. Does God have one "right" person for everyone? and if so is that the person you are to marry?

Please give reasons for all of your answers, oh a remark is a great way to share your opinion but a message will do great as well and if you do message me I will not say your name or that you messaged me if desired.  


July 13 2008

So I'm supposed to be at church. My parents stayed up late last night watching a movie. My Dad went to choir this morning. Oh snap.


So my mom's still asleep. I'm on the computer; Guess who's not going to church! 


July 11 2008


I thought this was awesome and I wanted to share it with you all. I want to challenge you to stand.


An Incredible Day Yesterday

July 11 2008

honestly, I feel good.

God has seriously made things amazing.

I've realized it all happends for a reason,

even the stuff we've left out about ourselves.

every little sticth in our blanket of Life counted,

even the ones you regret. Or the ones you

won't talk about anymore because it makes

your conversation awkward. (spellings off)

Or when you had to tell your lover that you

weren't faithful. It all happend for a reason.

Just wait until we're older, God just has these

amazing plains for our lives.

I can't wait to do what God wants me to. 

And I realized it all yesterday. 

Song of the Week. "I Must Be Dreaming."

July 10 2008
Well I had to have a little help to choose the song of the week so I hope that you guys enjoy it because a good friend of mine helped pick it. She told me about this band and I can't stop finger tapping when I am listening to them! Well this is The Maine with "I Must Be Dreaming" and I got it in just in time! Enjoy. oh and a special thanks to Lindsay Taylor.

:) :) :) :)

July 10 2008

i just went shopping for my dress for the fairest of the fair pageant....and i found the PERFECT DRESS!!!!!   i didn't have my camera, so i didn't get a pic.  but take my word for it, it's beautiful!!!!!  everyone has to come see me in the pageant.  that's an order.

...i don't understand

July 10 2008
right now i am beyond pissed.  i do NOT want to go back to school, because now i have nothing to look forward.  i didn't make concert choir.  i don't understand how either.  i won't go into my little rant, because some of you might take it as conceit.  but i promise, it's not.  i just worked my butt off last year to ensure that i had a spot in choir.  everyone said that there was no way i couldn't make it.  they said i had to.  well, i guess everyone's wrong sometimes.  it makes me feel good that there were no freshmen that made it, though.  of course, i wanted all of us to make it, but there were only five spots.  it just makes me mad that i did everything i possibly could.  now, i have to sing with a bunch of girls that don't really care about singing.  choir isn't just a class i take to get an easy A.  it is my life and it means more to me than a lot of things.  my mom is probably as upset if not more than i am.  it doesn't seem like it really happened.

The girl.

July 10 2008

I'm not going to get her,

she loves some one else.

I never figured for anything serious,

but nothing serious is better than nothing.


She drops hints, compliments,

never stop and know this gent.

I'm leaving this here and leaving her behind. 

have you ever?

July 09 2008

have you ever...

felt like your heart was gonna explode?

felt like the butterflies wont go away?

felt like there was so much joy you  couldn't breathe?

felt like no matter what you still cared?


this boy smells funny when he sweats,

tells his parents he can't get enough of us,

tackles me when i am mad at him,

sweeps me off my feet when he knows he loves it too.

This boy is amazing.

tyler adam.

you make this heart skip a beat.

you don't confuse me.

you mean what you say.

and thank you.

:) you made the storm in my heart go away.

you're amazing. 

to tyler and austin

July 08 2008

to tyler and austin:

this is a bit late, i know, but i wanted to inform the two of you that my dog, sadie, had to be put down a few weeks ago. 

:( please don't cry.

Only and Forever for you, and all of you.

July 08 2008

I am dedicating this for you, just you, but also the rest of you.

I want to tell you that my last days there were amazing.

Even though you will never read this, I know you know.

You are an absolute dirty Asian.

You are an absolute wonderful person.

You are the coolest person I have met.

You wonderful long night.  

Hey you, you stupid Hard Rock Cafe worker...Yeah you better not show your face.

You made me embarresed in the washing room.

Nothing is ever as it seems, especially at night.

Curse you, you unanswered questions.

You unfulfilled dreams.

You liar.

You curses.

But bless you, you wonderful smile. 

You ridiculous tan line.

You great memory.

You fulfilled dreams. 

You one person party. 

You liar.

and bless you who are not blessed for you deserve to be, in one day or the next.

I pray to God for that which will never happent, but maybe we will meet again, oh cursed, oh blessed, the absolutes, the coolest, the dirtiests and the most wonderful ones.   




July 08 2008

hey. so life , my life is very ..chaotic right now.

 some of you guys have asked me whats up w. me,

& that i am acting funny, & yea, tell me bout it , i know.

its just like i have actually desired to clean, and i crave foods, and i have been very desicive, and moody .. but i dont really know whats going on with me much more than you do, well... i know what is going on, but i am not sure why really.

  its funny i cant explain much but in my quiet time with God i havent heard much, everytime i have i do quiet time this prayer request that ive been praying comes up, and it troubles me. and i really desire  to hear this request answered, and i would give up what i want out of it, just to have God answer with favor of my request even if it meant i had nothing to do with it for the rest of my life i would do it.

   im getting off here a few days, however long it takes, still be on myspace once in awhile, but i think what im looking for im not going to find here. God bless you guys, have a great week.


" all my soul needs is all your love to cover me.

so all the world will see i am nothing , i am nothing without you."


July 07 2008

So I realized today that although the way I am trying to do things may be more efficient, but less understandable. The other idea would arrive at the same conclusion, but less efficiently. Lack of communication caused misunderstanding, while all this time I could've sat back and let the idea happen, ending this whole ordeal easily.


Fighting for my way won't get anything done, especially if the other person is right. 

went to kentucky

July 06 2008

God has chaged me, I've met new people, found a new someone.

I've been blessed.

the stories I've learned are heart breaking.

and the children of Zambia need our help.

The people I went with help raise over six thousand dollars.

People found Jesus, and felt his love for the first time.

I learned if you don't give your everything God will not reward you. If your heart was never in him he will turn away from you in the Kingdom of Heaven* and say "Be gone you evil doers, I never knew you"

read that in the bible, and started weeping.

I've gotten serious.

I feel amazing.

We feel amazing. 

Rip Shelby & Jamie.

July 05 2008

we lost 2 cw girls in a car accident, i didnt know them, but  everyone say a prayer for their families.

 ps. 56:8 says that God numbers our tears,

that he collects them in a jar.

I know God hears our cries, and there will many tears in Dickson county for these girls. God will hear us.



Rant+Whine+Thinking = Boredom

July 03 2008

    Okay so i'm super bored and you guys know what happens when i get super bored. But for those of you that dont know i will explain for you. When i get super bored i either

1~Rant about something

2~Whine about something

and or

3~Try to write something with meaning that might help you smile,laugh, or maybe even think a little.

I think today it will be alittle of all three, oh yeah i know its alot to handle but just bare with me here.


   I hate when you wave at someone and they just look at you, Like i'm throwing them the bird or something! I'm like "what the heck, i'm just being nice." i dont need a death stare, i need a wave back. Or maybe even just a smile! I MEAN COME ON how hard is it to pick up your hand and wave back. If you can text and drive you can wave and drive...its not rockit science.


    Why is it that when your hurt and confused you dont want to tell people whats actually wrong, you just want to whine about it? I mean the other day i was so down, hurt, and sad..and the one guy that really cares about me wanted to know what was wrong b.c he couldn't stand to see me hurting and i wouldn't tell him what was wrong with me. Yeah in time he got it out of me but i was so..i guess scared to tell him. Scared he would laugh at my pain i guess, and when he didn't laugh and he just stood there listening to me and then i realiZed he really does care. Its not all a lie, he isn't faking just to get close use me and then run..he really cares. And that feeling was amaZing! YET i was so stupid not knowing if i just let him in he could change my world, change how i look at things...he could and does make me feel like his world!

*-*Thinking Time*-*

    when people look at you, who do they see? Do they know your a Jesus Lover. Do they see understanding and caring. Do they think happy and laughter. What do they see????? You might want to look over yourself and make sure your putting out whats really you and not the fake crap that helps you fite in, makes you look cool, or whatever its called these days.





...uhhhhhh....??? omg

July 02 2008
so the craziest thing happened to me about an hour ago.  i took a shower.  (that's not the crazy part, no comments. please  lol) i got out and my hair was TWIRLY CURLY!!!  it was so weird.  the front has always been wavy, but not like this.  i wonder if it will stay.  it's already drying, but i wonder.  the front is cool-looking.  :)  so there ya go.


July 01 2008
laugh. its way fun. and play NewsPaper Football...its makes you laugh lol

hurry home

June 30 2008

i have been rushing to get home

 cause you are by yourself, just on your own.

no telling what will happen when our lives arent so close,

 its by all means a decision, a path we both chose.

 im doing double time.babe, you've been on my mind!

there's more than just a line

 than why we can't be fine.

 please hurry home. im here sitting, wishing,thinking.

and im alone.

i know you know a lot about how i feel,

you've seen  i don't shoot straight , and still expect a kill.

and i know from what you tell me

 that theres more of me in you than just a memory,

i know you aren't as strong as I'd like to think.

 by the way darling your ring is still by the sink.

that pillow of yours you left it on  my bed,

i guess til you decide its time to again rest your head.

 but we won't make it til we get some things straight,

babe some day i'd like to come home would you open the doors if im home to late?

so when are you coming home or will you just wait outside  the driveway? i ve said what i need to say, and i guess im just waiting on yesterday today.





June 28 2008
When Youre Gone - Avril Lavigne



June 28 2008

so I have come to realize that God answers prayers.  I mean yeah i have known that for a long time but it is so real to me now.  I have been praying that he could just place the desire in my heart to know Him more.  So lately i have just been deciding to read my Bible instead of doing other things.   I am going to start bringing my Bible everywhere I go.  He has made me interested in the Bible.  It's kind of crazy because i have been a Christian for around nine years but i have never really dove into the Bible.  It was pretty awesome because when i first decided to read i opened to John1:1 which is In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the word was God. So if i want to get to know God Better then i need to read the word.  


Well thats kinda whats been on my mind lately so yeahhh shoots 

Time to catch a plane

June 28 2008
Well you guys I am about to head out. I am going to Harvard University I was accepted amung others from across the globe to study there to become a better leader and take a class. I will be completing over 50 class hours while I am there. Please be praying for me while I am in Boston. I will not know anyone besides who I meet. Well I hope you guys have an awesome time I will be back in 10 days.

Chuck Norris!

June 26 2008

"In the eyes of a ranger,
The unsuspected stranger
Had better know the truth of wrong from right,
Cuz the eyes of a ranger are upon you,
Any wrong you do he's gonna see,
When youre in Texas look behind you,
Cuz that's where the rangers are gonna be."

so i thought it was neccassary since i am going to marry this man's partner in Crime!:)

A Sacred Moment

June 25 2008

For all of the guys to think about when they are involved with a girl. Remember that She may be somone else's Wife one day!!!! 


A Sacred Moment by Daniel Kirkley


She makes me crazy
She makes me smile
Gonna let her have my heart
For a while

She's got me dreaming
'bout what could be
Something in her touch
Brings out the best of me

Could this be love
Too soon to say
Maybe just friends, I don't know, either way
I want this to be

A sacred moment in her life
Guard her heart and treat her right
There may come a day
When she's someone else's wife
If she's not mine to have and hold
May this time we share be known as
A sacred moment

She keeps me praying
Lead me Lord
Don't wanna say and do things I'll be sorry for
God show the way
To live out Your love
Strengthen her faith, be a man she can trust
I want this to be


Till the true love of my life takes my name
Whoever's hand I get to hold
My prayer will be the same




June 25 2008


June 25 2008

europe trip synopsis

June 25 2008

Just for you Carmen lol:

We flew into London. When we first got there, we went to Chislehurst Caves. It was pretty cold, and Keri was really scared. She hung onto to me the whole time. Our tour guide told us all these ghost type stories about the caves. The caves were used in WWII and were built by the Druids. Our first hotel was okay. It was a yachtish thing, but it was kind of small. It was better than some of the hotels (or hostel) we stayed in. Our very first meal in Europe was disgusting. They gave us a meat pile and mushy rice stuff. Literally. Keri didn't even like the rice which is very surprising since rice is like her favorite food. The next day we took a tour of Europe. We got to see where parts of the scenes of Diagon Alley of Harry Potter were filmed. We had to walk a lot. Some guy said we hit his car with our bus, so our bus driver had to get out. They argued for a while. Pretty funny. We saw the changing of the guards and Buckingham Palace. The queen wasn't home though. We went to the Tower of London which was one of my favorite places of the trip. We rode the London Eye, the largest ferris wheel in the world. When we were on it, we saw a naked couple (except for towels) on their balcony. You would think they'd know that lots of people would see them so they must not care. We met with a former member of parliament. It was pretty boring, and Keri fell asleep. While we were shopping, a girl in our group passed out. They brought the ambulance, and people were stopping to take pictures. We saw The Lord of the Rings musical which was definitely my favorite thing. We had to literally run there because dinner was a lot longer than we thought it would be. During an intermission type thing, actors came out into the audience. They were reall scary looking. I didn't want them to touch me so I started climbing over Keri. She told me to sit down so they wouldn't see I was scard and come back there. They were bothering someone in the front row (we were in the 4th row), and they made this really weird sound, so I started to climb back over Keri. They saw me and came back there. I literally jumped into Keri's lap. (As she likes to put it - went monkey on her.) After they left and I was getting back to my seat, I fell in the floor. It was pretty funny afterwords though. We went to this JFK memorial. The Steps of Individuality and the Seat of Contemplation were there. Pretty important. lol We got to go to Oxford. It was so pretty, and there were bicycles everywhere. They have this really big library and reading room that are connected by an underground tunnel. At Oxford, Keri and I got to see where the banquet hall scenes of Harry Potter were filmed. That night we went to Warwick Castle. Our tour guide person was very into character. He yelled at this girl in our group that got stung by a bee (she's allergic) and said he didn't care if she dies. He told her afterwords he was embarressed though because he didn't really realized what was going on. We learned how to stick fight, and Keri and I sword fighted. It was pretty darn cool. We had to stay overnight though, and it was absolutely freezing.  The next morning we got to look around the castle. Keri and I climbed 530 stairs in the tower and ramparts part. We dubbed ourselves stair masters. We went to Stonehenge which was actually pretty cool considering. Keri made friends with a bird and named it Sir Winston. We had to ride a ferry over night to France. There were four people to a tiny room. The room was so small we couldn't even have our luggage with us. Our first day at France was in Normandy. We went to a muesum about WWII. We also went to Normandy beach and the American Cemetary. Being there made me stop and think about how many people lost their lifes. There are exactly 9,387 perfectly alligned white markers at the cemetary. We had a wreath laying ceremony while they played the national anthem and taps. We got to go to the Palace at Versailles which was absolutely beautiful. The gardens were huge. We also went to the Louvre which has the Mona Lisa. We saw Notre-Dame. The next day we went to the top of the Eiffel Tower. The Eiffel Tower is pretty ugly. It's this really ugly brown. Not a nice black like a though it would be. We got more shopping time - 4 and a half hours to be exact. Extremely pointless. We did manage to get some amazing ice cream. The girl that was walking around with us got Whiskey ice cream. Keri tried it and said it was nasty. We went to this one food place. The girl that was with us didn't know her pin number for her card. The people at the cafe ran her card twice. They didn't speak English so we couldn't tell if she had paid for the food or not. So we just left. We still don't know if she stole the food or paid for it twice. In Belgium we went to a chocolate factory. We tried some chocolate, and it was delicous. We also saw the Peeing Boy statue. We only got to spend one day in Belgium. Sad. In Holland we went to a cheese and clog farm. They had some really good cheese. Our last two nights of the trip we had to stay in this hostel thing. Pretty scary. Our first room was horrible so we had to get another one. It was half the size as everyone else's in our group. There were also stains on the beds and mold in the shower. Extremely gross. So we had to go wake our delegation manager up at midnight to tell her we couldn't stay there. I think the place had to be an insane asylum previously because it smelled all sterile and there were bars on the windows. Our last day we went to Anne Frank's house. That was another one of my favorites. We couldn't take pictures though which was kind of sad. We walked through Amsterdam which had bicycles everywhere!


Overall the trip was pretty great. The people were pretty cool although some of them were pretty iffy characters. Keri had to room with a few of them, but I got lucky and never had to. A lot of the people wanted to sneak out every night. And they did a few times. There were a few girls who even wanted to sneak and with a college guy and get a cab to Amsterdam the last night. One of the girls go drunk while we there. I made a few friends. Our delegation manager, Clair was the best. Without her, we'd probably still be wandering around the London airport. Our leaders were a little less than competent. One of leaders sniffed every five seconds. His wife was one of our leaders too. She treated him like her son. We hardly ever left behind a kid in our group. It was always a leader. They were so slow. Great conversation topics though. lol The guy was such a goof. He never knew what he was talking about. I can't even count how many times someone in our group almost got ran over. They drive so crazy over there. They really only drive on the left side of the rode in England. I thought they drove on the left side everywhere in Europe. Everytime we would cross a street, we'd have to run across especially if we wanted to stay together since there were 40 of us.


Sorry this was so long. It was about two weeks though. So if you read all this kudos to you! I'll probably think of some more stuff soon...

oh by the way

June 25 2008

"Every thing you have to figure out is already here"


Qouted by:


My Uncle Buddy 

leaving home Sunday

June 25 2008

 Just letting people know that I'm leaving for a while.

I'm pretty excited, everyones told me where I'm going is pretty neat. And I need a break. 

So my Great Grandfather died Monday, right after we found out my uncle has Spinal Cancer.  And my other uncle is having a hard time dealing with himself, and I got to move on and not look at a friendship the same ever again. It's pretty much been ruined.

Pray for me 


June 23 2008

alright. so ever heard that amazing phrase"whats done is done"... i dont think that is completely relevant, sure no one can erase what is done, and we are human.... so ALRIGHT!! we make mistakes, but i think its more of how much you desire to be forgiven, and step towards moving on, how much effort you put on making things right..

 so the new saying goes something like this... "what's done has happened, but it's not done yet. finish it."

 so i have made an awful mistake, its already happened, now i've got to just give it to God, and try and make things right, and not turn around.           

       everyone says the first step is the hardest, i think thats also a cop out, its the steps you continue to take when you're tired of dealing with it all thats the hardest. and honestly, that would be where i am, ive taken the first steps, and the second & third steps, but we have to keep taking steps even when we feel far from the fire, because we are in dry land and fire catches hay fast.

 so though i feel like i am far from my fire i still have farther to go, because ive seen the hay catch on fire too many times, and every time ive been burnt, bcause i was still to close.

so my advice is keep running even when you see butterflies.

Hypotheticly Speaking Ofcourse

June 23 2008

What would you do if guys never saw you as you wanted them to?

Just the girl the come to when they need a break from reality.

When they pretty much use you to get over someone.

But it didn't work so they just stopped talking to you.

Even though all you wanted was a friend.

Hypotheticly speaking ofcourse,

this would never happen to any of you.

Just me. 

If you only read one of my blogs...

June 22 2008
make it this one. Today in church I had tears just role down my eyes like sweat from my brow. I listened to one of the most amazing story I had ever heard come from a soldier, man named Jonathan. He told us this story right before playing "Our God is an Awesome God." I was in infantry school in GA. I want you to picture a little church not able to seat more than 300 people. Now this church had no A/C and a tiny stage. Now picture it with 500 soldiers. Full uniform in the middle of summer. Many were standing and some were holding chairs so that there was enough room. I became the worship leader of this church. I got so tired of playing the same song every week. (we had new people coming and leaving so we kept it simple he explained). Every week the Army here had a tradition of yelling, right after "Our God is an awesome God he reigns" they would yell, not always with the timing or perfect at all "HE REIGNS" Every time. The 500 soldiers who later that week had drill sargents yellilng at them, then the soldiers yelling orders to each other during firing practice. They would yell that day to their ultimate athority. That alone would make you realize the power of God. But in another platoon I met a guy named Chris Fifer. He was a professing wicken. We practiced witch craft daily. He started coming to the chapel, however, to get out of mess duty. As did a lot of other soldiers. Eventually God worked in him and had him yelling with the rest of the men "HE REIGNS" with his hands held to the sky. This had a lot of guys including three unsaved drill sargents come and ask what we gave to him to make him change. Well a while ago Chris was with his squad doing patrol on the streets of Baghdad. He was in full body armor and helmet. But snipers know just where to put the bullet. That day Chris was shot right in the soft spot of his armor. He spent 2 months in a hospital in Germany before being moved to a hospital in Texas to be closer to his family. Surviving on all sorts of medical equipment one day before his daughter was born Chris died. His daughter never got to meet her father. And becuase of this song that we sang every sunday for 6 months I know that she will in heaven one day.

Song of the Week. "I Won't Back Down"

June 22 2008
So Tom Petty never really had great videos but I thought a lot of his songs were pretty awesome, like "Free Falling" another great song. Well I hope you enjoy Tom Petty "I Won't Back Down"

im home

June 20 2008

mmm... im Home! & im soo glad to be at my house.

its amazing how good my house smells.... & how tired i am.

so im going to tell you a little about what happened at camp, of course somethings i wont mention because those things are a what happened at camp stays at camp kinda thing...


so i worked pretty hard with my co jr. counselors... Shelby who became a good friend, louis and Caleb.monday felt like wednesday. also, i had to take freezing cold showers every morning, i slept next to a kid that woke up at 5 in the morning and stared at me,btw, i didnt get in before 11 every night, or later. Shelby and i made a pb&j sandwich & ate it in the counselor's bed, and fell asleep in there. uhm also, thursday night came around and all the male counselors made me stay in the canteen while most every on else got to play capture the flag and that was because i have a "older friend" that liked me, and i know they care about my safety and stuff, but it made me really mad!!i had to mop 3 times, and clean the boys bathroom including the sink things on the

anyways, that was the basics of camp....

 glad to be home . missed yall.



June 20 2008
so...i have pulled a successful allnighter!!  and when i say ALL nighter...i mean it!  i have dyed a streak of my hair pink and blue.  it rocks and you're t totally jealous.  :)  so i'm gonna go chill with shawna and cede some more.  k thanx bai

so how about that?

June 19 2008

how about i don't like boys anymore.

cause they're confusing.

...??? fun.

June 19 2008


 ???  no one


  it's been a while since i cried over a person.  i cried at youth camp last week.   


 yes i LOVE it


  roast beef


 t-totally.  no duh


no  and i'm being honest which is sad.


 NEVER!!!!  lol 


 yeah and i'm not sure what they are for.




  rice krispies


no.  i don't like to  sometimes i have to


yes....wait, in which ways?


  mint chocolate chip...or something with a lot of chocolate 


guys: eyes, smile, and hands

girls: amount of makeup they wear


 red.  pink is disgusting


why so negative??


my grandmother 


i really don't give a rip :)


pj pants with winnie the pooh all over them...and i'm barefoot, like it should be all the time. 


a grape with some fruit dip on it.  yummm




  sparkly orange



  mi madre


yeah  . 


hockey, soccer, baseball.  i like watching football, but i don't understand it.  lol


 blonde with some red and dark brown.  lol






  this pasta that tamara made me.  it was SO good....mmm


 it depends 


  the bucket list 











 once again, i don't care 


watership down, eclipse (for the third time), the bible, anne of green gables (for the second time) :) 


a mouse.  duh!


 nothing i don't like tv.  it's for losers.


 the sound of the angels singing when that one person smiles.  lol j/k my mother's singing






the arts 


 in a hospital


your mothers.


June 18 2008

k the thought below this one... please read it

i am pretty much pouring out my heart 

longest thought... but most important please read

June 18 2008

Pretty amazing things have been happening to me lately.  as some of you know i have been at camp kokokahi for the past 2 weeks teaching mime.  well my brother in christ has been there too.  he haas been kind of like a mentor to me.  he has helped me to  seek better relationships and such things.  So a few things i have learned are...


I need to be more selfless and less vain

I have realized that i needed to ask God to humble me.... and most definatly He did.  its not always about me.  Looks do not need to be the main focus in my life.  christ needs to have charge of everything...  in the bible it says love the lord with all your heart soul and mind.... honestly if i am loving him *that* much then what else should i have room to love. also i know you might ask well then how are we supposed to love other people like the significant other?  well we need to love the GOD in the person.  So that also proposes another question. How could i possibly, being a follower of christ, love any person that does not have christ in them?  Well thats just it you cannot because then you would not be giving enough love to jesus. 


Also i have realized that some people have considered me a leader.  (with the help of brinton howerton and andrew adams) I am going to use a quote from spiderman.  "with great power comes great responsibility."  this is soo true if soemone wants me to lead them then i dang sure better be leading them in the correct path.  One that is a path that God would approve of.  I will also give a quote from Andrew.  Much is given to you, Tyler, so much will be required.


Also this week i have learned how to have a quiet time with God.  Before this week sure every once in a while i would just sit with my Bible and talk to God.  This is not the right way to go AT ALL.  It is amazing what he can show you if you just give him the time.  If you are hesitant to have a devotion because you are too tired or what ever the case may be then please think of it like this.  quiet time with God is the best time of the day.  the rest just goes downhill from there.  i dont care if you are going out on a date or whatever the case may be what better thing is there than to spend time with the creator of everything? 



I know that some people may not like things like this and no I am not trying to preach to anyone I am just sharing new things that have been an incredible excitement in my life. 

Be Careful.

June 17 2008
Always be ready for what you say to be the last thing you say to someone because it might be. Something I learned...and I swear to my god that it will eat you alive if you aren't careful.


June 16 2008

sometimes when you care about someone,

you have to think of them....

instead of yourself. 



I wanna love you like Forrest loved Jenny

June 16 2008

I wanna love you like Forrest loved Jenny,

I will run for 3 years 2 months 14 days and 16 hours to get to you.


I wanna love you like Wyatt Earp loved Josephine Marcus,

I will have no pride, no dignity, and no money, I am not sure how we will make a living but I promise to love you.  


I wanna love you like Johnny loved June, 

I will walk the line for you until the end of time.


I wanna love you like Homer loved Marge Simpson,

I will be confused but I will always know I loved you.


I wanna love you like Westley loved Buttercup,

I will get caputured but I swear to make it back to you.


I wanna love you like Ross loved Rachel,

I will do my best not to let you get on that plane out of my life.


I wanna love you like Han loved Leia,

I will run through the galaxy with you from the empire.


I wanna love you like Forrest loved Jenny,

I will if you will let me.  








Thinking of you

June 16 2008

the lyrics are wonderful,

the video's a little strange.

...but you should get the point 

Paris smells like booty

June 15 2008

Hey carmen!We saw the actual moulin Rouge today. Just thought we;d let you know. FROM MEGAN


yo! paris is pretty cool but dirty and smelly. they have the weird lite port a potty thing s on the side of the road. everytime someone goes this thing atomaticly cleans it but it stil smells worse that a regular port a potty. we went to the eiffel tower today. it was this horrible browncolor thatloked like dried crap. Say lay (aka its ugly). i gava a euro to this woman with fake lukemia. lol. sorry bout all the errors in this post. we have free internet in our room, and like all free things, it sucks.  LOVE KERI aka THE MASTER STAIR WIZARD!!!!!





I'll be in Dickson! c:

June 15 2008


I get to see my Daddy today,

we're making plans on the summer.

I'll be staying with him after July 4th.

I'm so happy guys.

I get to have a Dad.


I was crying last night because it made me

so happy, like I wish

you could feel the joy I feel.


Just wanna see what you think.

June 15 2008

Ok so here is a huge question that I really need people to answer for me (prefrebly in the form of a remark). ok


So if you have like a really good friend, like a best friend that you have known for like 10 years, but you really like him/her, do you tell them and risk ruining your friendship or do you just keep your friendship and tell him/her later in life. 



ok so in this case you don't see the person very much because of distance, yet you are still great friends. A relationship at this point in life is impossible.


Also this is just a greatly argued question and I thought I would see what you people had to say. Thanks for your time.


           --Austin Mathis

The Strangers.

June 15 2008
So yeah I went to the Roxy 8 Movie Theater in Dickson, TN last night to see "The Strangers." It was an enjoyable movie. My friend was trying to hook up with this one girl who he dated before but she didn't like him at all. I didn't really like her or the girl she was with. So any ways we went into the Zohan with them and tried to talk them into seeing The Strangers with us...the one that my friend liked didn't like scary movies but the other did. We failed at trying to get them in the So my friend and I went into The Strangers alone. We were sitting there and the girls came in and we went to sit with them but the girl my friend liked made me sit next to her and my friend...we will call him mason...and the girl he likes lets call her maggie...and the other...uhmm lets call hollie. So Mason sat next Hollie and I sat next to Maggie. Well Maggie just broke up with her boyfriend so Mason was working hard to get her back. So I threw a lot of pick up attempts at her to make mason angry...needless to say none of them worked. But Maggie does get insanely frightened...she was constantly grabbing my arm and spilling her "ICEE" on me...good movie


June 14 2008

...let me see your hips swing oh shhh...

lol sorry that song is stuck in my head. WHATS UP MY PEOPLE!? i'm bored.

Nothing But Wonderful

June 14 2008

Let's think about me and you.

Nothing but Wonderful things have appeared in my mind.

When you touched my hand,

Nothing but Wonderful feelings appeared in my tummy. 

And when I think about you, and who you are...

You're Nothing but wonderful.


No matter what. 

Song of the Week. "God Bless the Broken Road"

June 13 2008
So I know that I have posted a lot of blogs today but I just kinda got a chance to get on my computer today and got the stuff out that needed out. Yeah for those who don't know I have been in Wilkesboro, North Carolina (my home town). I love it and miss it...a lot. No one and no where would ever replace it. I've got a lot going for me here though. Not many know the whole story of how I got here and by god that is fine with me. So Just sit back and just enjoy this great song by Rascal Flatts called "God Bless the Broken Road."

Heed my advice.

June 13 2008
Never ever let a drunk person make you dinner...or any other meal for that matter...

Doing 90 in a 65

June 13 2008

I was doing 90 in a 65.


I don't know why I didn't turn around.


I was heading for a completely different life.


And I was only 20 minutes away from your home town.


What would you have done if I were there at 3:56 in the morning?


Can I tell you how I feel?


Show up with out any warning?


Just be straight up and real?


Completely miss my plane.


To tell you I love you.


Not make it any big thing.


All these words I say will stand true.


I finally realize that love is sitting there and being completely content just holding hands.


I guess I really don’t matter to you now.


I was just this thing that happened.


It doesn’t matter what happens or how.


Just something, we did for those 28 minutes in the car that we were “trapped in.”


So now, I will let you go.


Release me I will from you as a burden.


I have absolutely nothing left to show.


I am gone now as I was then.


I have said all I have to say


Now I will let you say what you need to in your own way.


June 13 2008
"Yesterday is the Past.Tomorrow is a mystery.Today is a gift;That's why we call it the present."-The Turtle from Kung Fu Panda- Man, I just love life. I mean, it's just incrible.>.< 

Just a thought

June 13 2008
So I thought I would write a note for all you wonderful people. I haven't really written anything in a while. It's basically going to be a snapshot of the past week or two. May 30: work May 31st: Went to MTHEA Graduation June 7: Grant's graduation Party June 8: Lindsey goes to church with us Yep, that's all that is going on with me. Church was pretty awesome. Reggie Dabbs came. He was funny. But at the same time, he had some really good stuff to say. I'm going to face my lion. Unfortunately, it's easier said then done but I'm doing pretty well. : )

Give 'im the finger!

June 12 2008

I broke my finger. It was painful. I had stitches in it. I can't go swimming, or play an instrument for 2-4 weeks. Bummer.


June 10 2008

do you ever just want someone to just tell you they love you?

Even if they don't mean it? You just want to hear it.

Sounds weird, but I'm sure if someone randomly went

"Hey Kaelynn, I love you, because that's what you'd want to hear right now"

I'd laugh and tell them that they rocked,

but that's just me.

This song describes my mood,

in some odd way? 



June 10 2008

i just got cussed out over the phone.

i reacted with the way i was supposed to, but it was hard.

 it really hurt me.



Song of the Week. "Oceano"

June 10 2008
Ok so my apologies for not getting the song of the week out sooner I have been very busy here in NC. I enjoy it very much, however, I had a bad night last night, message me if you wanna know more...probably not though. Well this is Josh Groban's "Oceano" Hey this is the song for the week of the 1st. So please enjoy Josh Groban. I know I will.

summer :)

June 10 2008



i'ma so looking forward to this summer.

vacation. shopping. texting [alot]. moviess.

stuff like that..

the pain of you.

June 09 2008

 the feeling of this warmth against my skin.

 everytime i move i'm reminded you're still there.

because of you i cry in the shower,

and you make me want to go topless.

 i cant sleep at night, until i pray the pain stops.

because of you i am red in the face.

i feel so warm but i wish i could be so cold.



so this is totally about my sunburn...what do you think?lol.



June 09 2008

yes i think my family has found a new house to buy .  those of you who went to hawaii for the mission trip,  the house is right up the rode from the camp.  It is up on a hill and there is a balcony where you can see all of Kaneohe Bay.  It is beautiful but, i need you guys to pray that we can get the house.  There is competition for it  and the price is kind of high.  so yeah  thats whats going on


Diverse City-Tobymac

June 09 2008

 A) Funkadelic

 B) Afrotastic

 C) Psychadelic

 D) All of the Above

This'll be one of those times where you just want it all to come out?

June 08 2008

This is just a good day,

today my best friend Ashely came over.

And she's just made me feel amazing.

Like she always does, I kinda wish that I could

clone her into a male form. So that'd be the man that

God would want me to be with. But until they make a

clone machine, I'll always have my best friend. Even if

they make a clone.

She's always gonna be there.... she's never confused me.

Always been 100% honest, no matter what.

I love that girl, I wonder if God makes boys like that?

If so, do you have to order them? Do they come in a box?

Or is there just the kind I like that never like me back?

I shouldn't say that. But I do.

I'm tired of being the girl guys just lean on.

I want something real. Not like my previous relationships.

I don't want lies. I don't want reruns of the same bull.

I've been praying that God would tell me when I'm

gonna meet him, like when I'm older? Like 30?

Or 20? 40? I just wanna know? But hey....

I'll always have Ashely. 


June 06 2008

well. theres so much i could say about this past week. no doubt this was was one of the best weeks of my life. but i will leave it at that.

  its funny though, i feel really different than when i came. and i admit i love this.

wha yea im pretty out of it , i had 3 1/2 hours of sleep. so im going to sleep.



June 05 2008

Well I'm headed to indie-ana tomorrows. 

I'll probably still get on but in case I don't nobody panic!

Oh wait, no one messages me...Never mind!