I know that it has been a while since i've posted something here.  not much has been going on to report on unless you consider that i saw Harry Potter on saturday night, it was pretty good, but i need to reread the book to discover how disappointed i was.  still looking for a job for post graduation (less than 1 month away) but like i said there hasnt been much, but come friday i will probably have funny stories from wal-mart blitz (5am-2pm)

- Daniel

Tuesday I turned 22.  Have I really been around that long? I read these things on the internet about memories people have about being a child of the 80s and tv shows from the early 90s.  I feel old now that Full House and Roseanne can be shown on Nick at Nite (that was always reserved for those boring tv shows from the 50s that gave the idealistic view of the world during the time it was shown to distract from the turmoil around society at the time - I was a smart kid).  Yet, I read something today that was so true and it makes me pity the kids of today.  I had a Super Nintendo and a Commodore 64, so video games were at my disposal, there were always 2 tvs and vcrs in the house, so i could watch "Scooby Doo," "Hey Dude," and "Salute Your Shorts" (against mom's approval).  Yet, I still begged to go outside, the world ended at my friend's house (across the street and over 1 house). Anything outside of that was an adventure.  The front yard was a baseball field and the neighbor's driveway was a full lenght basketball court.  The "woods" behind the house held many mysteries and a great place to take discarded wood and fallen trees to make a fort.  It was a privilege to get to ride my bike around the block.  Playing baseball, there was no stealing, hitting a ball over the house was a foul, if the ball went in the road, the game was stopped to keep the ball out of the drain.  Hit the ball over the tree that was second base was a homerun (note, that was over the tree, not through the tree into the neighbor's yard).  On a rainy day, you had a city in your room made of legos, and you controlled everything...there was no violence, no war, maybe a car crash into a building because it was fun to break what you built just to build it again.  You sat around with your friends with a tape recorder making radio shows and mix tapes of your favorite music.  Sometimes you would sit by your radio for hours waiting for that song to play on the radio so you could record it from there (and now I will probably have the RIAA after me).  Your mom gave you the remaining checks from the account she closed so you could learn how to write them for when you get older and gave you a new game to play.  (of course, now your brother made you write a check for everything you borrowed).  You had chicken pox with your best friend.  To meet the girl you had a crush on in elementry school you ran into at the skating rink (roller skating that is).  When your grandfather dies in his 70s when you are 7 you can accept that he was old and his time to go, but when your grandmother dies in her 70s 13 years later, you think she died so young.  I remember that if you didn't have something, you just pretended you did, or changed the rules to exclude it.  There was no excluding anyone from playing.  All problems could be fixed with kool-aid and popsicles.  Staying up until midnight was the most awesome thing you and your friends did, and seeing that pg-13 movie was the best movie you ever saw (even though you didn't understand half of it).  I remember when i was able to walk outside with my friends and be gone for 6 hours walking through the neighborhood and nobody had to worry...we would come back, or someone would return us after 30 minutes.  The feeling of taking your bike down that hill going super fast was the closest thing to drugs you would ever know about.  Smoking and alcohol were never an issue, that was something grown ups did. 

That is enough rambling for right now...if you remember things different from now and growing up, share.

-Daniel

So, as I was driving to work yesterday I had a deep thought...Have you ever noticed that you never have to think about your turn signal, if you have to push the lever up or down...i mean, i know that up means right and down means left, but I never consciously think about it when I'm driving...it's like breathing, it just happens.  So, because of this observation, I had to spend the next 5 minutes trying to figure out why this was...and then it hit me. If you are driving with your hands in the proper position (2 and 10, or 3 and 9, whatever they are saying today) your left hand goes down for a left hand turn, thus it makes since that the turn signal lever goes down and vise-versa for going right...am i a genius or what.  Oh yeah, i guess i could tell the world that it's my birthday, but that is overrated anyways....

- Daniel

Well, over the past couple of days events have happened that have broken the promise I made to myself.  Following the last relationship which I did not have time for, I decided to jump on the single train for a while with no stops planned...Well, the train didn't stop, but was it ever derailed.  The details are irrelevant, but I must say that going to the movies at 10pm when you know you have be up at 630am is not a smart idea, but it was worth it.

Note: Many people who know me know that I have a negative view on relationships (sometimes with good reason) but this is just something I have noticed....Names omitted to protect whoever is involved.

So, I realized that there is always that one person who you continually tell yourself that you would never date, it would never work out, that you are just better off friends.  Yet, people on the outside keep telling you that you should go for it.  Well, it seems that this person is the one that you always turn back around to everything something goes wrong.  You quit talking to them, but they are there to take you out when you have been screwed by someone else, and the same works in reverse.  No matter how many bad relationships you have, it seems like you always know when to call this person, or they just call you because things don't seem right.  You can never be mad at this person for a long time, but at the same time, you never want to read too much in to the things that go on between you, because chances are that you have over analyzed it and you are just driving down that road where you think things are great, so, clinging to a false hope, you end up breaking your own heart and then blaming that person, yet you will eventually go back to them again and again and you don't know why...for once this is not the negative going back but it is positive.  You look at yourself and say maybe this is the person, but you have been hurt too many times and the things that were said to you by that person and what you said were influenced by an outside source and you just don't want to ruin what you got, you are simply complacent with what you have, maybe you don't want to move forward, you are afraid of what will happen.  Yet, life is all about taking chances, many times you will get hurt, but there is that one time where it works out and you can scream to the world that you have finally found the person you didn't know you were looking for.  That is my view, and chances are, I am wrong....

It has been a while since I posted anything so I decided I should give people a look into the deep thoughts I have driving back and forth from Nashville...You hear a song on the radio and you realize that is how your life seems to be.  We live in a fast paced world where nobody has time for anyone else (yep...I'm guilty of that).  Yet, as I drive down the interstate I look around me and there are hundreds of cars stuck in the same traffic I am in, yet I am all alone.  I have secluded myself from the world by rolling up the windows and allowing myself to drown in a sea of music.  I have decided that my life can best be summerized as being a stranger among friends.  This is evident in two ways.  The first is when you go back home and all your high school friends are talking about people and events that you have no clue about.  The second is that you come to realize that you no longer have the connection you once felt with your friends.  It seems that no matter how often you spend with your friends you feel like an outsider and completely out of place.  So as I walk on campus today, I will look and see the groups of people deep (or shallowly) in conversation I will will walk on...traveling alone...moving to the next venture in my life.

Well, here I sit again on another Tuesday here at the office of RLM Mission Management.  So far, I have ran a few errands and that about sums it up. Not too much is going on in life other than work, which I complain enough about here.  So just to give the benefit of the doubt, I decided to give a positive point of Wal-Mart...note, this took some time to think up and execute, but it worked. 

I will start by giving the moral of the story: "When the system continually screws you, it will eventually screw itself."

Let's think way back to May of this year...ok, now that we have gone back 5 months, this is the time they decided that I would better serve the company in dairy. Now, at that time, I was a level 4 employee moving to a level 3 position (in turn = pay cut).  Well, they promised me no pay cut, which was fine until 2 months into the deal, when they told me they "had" to change my job code because I did not work 50% of my hours up front at the service desk anymore. I of course said no to a pay cut.  Well, this went on for a few weeks, when it was discoved that my pay class had changed, but the pay cut never went into effect.  This is where I started thinking, if the pay grade changed and didn't cut, could I go up in pay class and get the raise? (Note: this is $0.20 we are talking about which is $8/week, so I'm not breaking the company). So after another month of negotiations and talks of moving back up front because being one of the fastest cashiers (no ego here, just fact, if you want proof, the company average for items per hour is roughly 400-450, I typically end an 8 hour day between 750-900 items per hour) would definately serve the company better during Christmas with our short staff.  Well to conclude this never ending story, they moved me up front, and I signed off on the changes, and lo and behold, Daniel finally got a raise and is closer to making what he thinks he deserves.

In other news...no that's it... time to go to school...thank you my 5 loyal readers more to come, and maybe next time I will have a humorous ancedote (hopefully that is the right word) to share ...

As I drove home from work today I was listening to my XM radio and who should I hear but Faith Hill.  The song was "Someone Else's Dream" and there was a line in it that may me realize my position in life is...

"All my life I've been pleasing everyone but me, living someone else's dream."

It isn't really all that bad being the guy that people fall back on when a relationship goes south, or when they simply need help, but sometimes I wonder when will it be my turn.  It seems as though the people that come to me eventually become happy because I was there to listen, there to take them out, there to do random stuff for them when they felt alone or simply needed stuff.  I have reached out and given money that I didn't have, time I needed for other stuff, and sometimes I just wonder when will someone do that for me. Now don't take this as me complaining because I normally offer to do these things. I just want people to be happy, but does it always have to be at my expense.  Right now, I am holding a dog for someone until she gets some stuff together, and finds a new place to live, but I don't know how long I will be keeping him, and everyone keeps asking what's in it for you...money, a date...but the truth is that I don't want anything,
Well, I sound really whining right now, so I'm off to bed for the night.

- Daniel

Well, it is finally fall break, so i decided that i went and got some sleep.  I don't understand why i fell asleep at 930 but getting up at 10am is great. Any how, I went and saw "A History of Violence" (minus 2 inappropriate scenes, it definately gave me my fill of violence for the week). The only thing that I thought about was that the movie definately demonstrated that no matter what happens or circumstances occur, we cannot escape the past in which we used to live.  You can't run and hide because there is always someone there to remind you who you once were.  No matter how hard you try, you cannot kill the person you used to be.  Well, with that being said, it is time to shower and prepare to give my soul back to the corporate devil (aka wal-mart).

- Daniel 

So, another week, another post. Actually i'm sitting outside my internship because of course i am again early. so i have a little bit of time on my hands and it is either post to phusebox, or do homework...let's see what won out. I mean i did choose to scrub a toilet on monday night instead of studying for a mid-term...but you don't need to know about that. So the title of the post. i figure that if i keep telling myself over and over again, that i love my job (as in wal-mart) i will eventually convince myself that it is true. Let's see, i decided to take saturday off as a day of rest...which was great, until you i decided to let management talk me into working from 6am - 10pm on sunday...then on monday, i learned that management doesn't care about profits because they don't see fit to keep unstaffed areas stocked (i.e. the milk) therefore, caring about making some serious money (like that will ever happen) i wasted (i stress the word) my last break and glimpse of sanity to restock the milk, now if i can put out 82 cases of milk (multiplied by 4 gives you the # of gallons) in under 15 minutes, why can't someone else take 5 minutes out of there sitting around doing nothing 3 times to insure that it is still there...unfortunately this put me in a bad mood and the person working service desk had to get the bad end of the stick. but i'm making it up to her, i'm taking her out next thursday (suck up points i know) but as soon as i graduate and find a real job (i.e. anything not wal-mart) my life will be better. well that is all for now...

- Daniel

P.S. have you ever had someone put a message on your wall on facebook that you supposedly went to high school with but can't find a picture of them because all their profile pictures are groups and they remembered a nickname you had in 9th grade but can't for the life of you remember who that person was?

Inspired by the following quote for Tommy Boy:

"Let me tell you why I suck as a sales man. Let's say I go into some guy's office and let's say he's even remotely interested in buying something. Well then I get all excited I'm like Jojo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet. The pet is my possible sale. Oh , my pretty little pet, I love you. So I stoke it, and I pet it, and I massage it, hehe I love it, I love my little naughty pet, you're naughty. Then I take my naughty pet and I go [makes ripping noises as he tears apart the roll] Uuuuuuh. I killed it. I killed my sale. That's when I blow it. That's when people like us gotta forge ahead, Helen, am I right?"

I decided to talk about why i suck as a person. Now before everyone (my 2 readers) get offended, i must explain. I don't honestly think that I suck as a person, it's the unique ability i have to be the perfect doormat for the world. I am giving up my day of sanity and relaxation to babysit a 2 year old (who is probably the most awesome 2 year old i know) but i don't know when i will get to leave. so assuming i leave roughly at 11 pm that does not help with me going to work on sunday morning at 6am, because they are short in dairy in the morning, so now instead of working from 1pm-10pm on sunday i am now working 6am-10pm...sounds like a fair trade off to me. and on top of that, i really need to be working on my online course, i'm looking for a job, i've got a midterm on tuesday that i don't know when i will get to study for. why can't i just have a 72 hour day and then i can get everything under the sun done.

enough ranting...

-Daniel

photo from darnett5878

Well, this was e-mailed to me today by my brother. That is my new niece or nephew, will find out soon.

So my brother calls me yesterday to tell me that him and his wife are going to have a baby in April (Due Date: April 20) although after some information from me, he doesnt want the baby born on that day....why wouldn't anyone want their child to share a birthday with Hitler? Anyways, he is suppose to call me back in about 4 weeks to tell me the sex of the baby. Wow, I really can't see myself being called Uncle Daniel, but I guess I will just have to get used to it, I mean I'm still not use to the fact that he is actually married. Well, if the baby is born on 4/20 then I guess I just have to take a toke for the new arrival.

Have you ever just realized that you have taken on way too much and that life is just crashing around you. You find that you have to schedule outings with your friends roughly 3 weeks in advance and there is only one night a week that you have open, so you end up disappointing people because you can't fit them in until sometime in Novemeber. But not to fear, as of right now, my 2006 calendar is wide open, but i can only fill it in in pencil as I do not know where i will be come january. Anyways, lack of sleep, food and a whole bunch of crap that i'm dealing with leads me to my sarcastically happy life.

- Daniel

So I know it has been a long, long time since I last made a post, so everyone (like the 3 people who may or may not actually read this) is just dying to know what has been going on with me...in one word, nothing. All I have been doing is work, school, internship, work at the library and filling in my few hours of free time weeks in advance. Somewhere in there I had a girlfriend, but that only lasted a month (sidenote: it was me who ended it). In other news, I went to the rascal flatts concert on the 24th, and it was a good show. If there is anything else you want to know, just ask, and i'll try to get back to you within the week.

- Daniel

Well, today is the day after I learned that Amber had died. So I got to thinking about a poem i heard the day that my grandmother died, and how true it is. thus, at risk of copyright infringement, i am going to post 2 poems up here, neither of which i wrote, but they can truely express the feelings i have.

The Dash by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He refers to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning ... to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth ...
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth

For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars ... the house ... the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash

So think about this long and hard ...
Are there thinkgs you'd liek to change?
For you never know how much time is left.
(You could be at "dash midrange")

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appriciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile ...
Remember that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy's being read
With you life's actions to rehash ...
Would you be proud of the things they
Say about how you spend your dash?

______________________________________

The second poem i don't know the author, but it was provided at my grandmother's funeral.

To Those I Love and Those Who Love Me

When I am gone let me go and release me
I have so many things to do and see
You must not tie yourself to me with tears
Be happy that we shared such beautiful years.

I gave you my love, you can only guess
How much you gave me in happiness.
I thank you for the love you each have shown.
But now its time I traveled alone.

So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must,
Then let your grief be comforted by trust
It is only for a while that we must part.
So cherish the memories in your heart.

I won't be far away, for life goes on.
So if you need me, call and I will come;
Though you cannot see or touch me, I'll be near.
All my love around you, soft and clear.

And then when you shall come this way alone,
I'll greet you with a smile and say, "Welcome Home!"

- We love you and miss you Amber (July 30, 2005)

So, you are sitting at home watching tv and the phone rings...it's 830 in the morning on a saturday and you don't even know if you want to answer it. so you check the caller id and it's the person who hasn't called you in a about a month, so each that person needs something, or they have something to say...

thus is the story of today. My phone rang and it was U2's "Where the streets have no name." (the default ring on my phone). thus it can be just about anyone. Well that song was definately appropriate for the call i received. the first verse is

"I want to feel the sunlight on my face
I see the dust clouds disappear without a trace.
I want to take shelter from the poison rain
Where the streets have no name."

Well, anyone's first guess about this song is that it is referring to heaven. Well, my phone call was to tell me that one of my friends, and someone who used to work at wal-mart, died early this morning in Manchester. Now when the person who is calling you is crying, it is all that you can do to not cry too because you know they are calling you to hold them up and to be supportive. thus i had to run out of the house this morning and go straight to her because in a time like this everyone needs a friend regardless of whatever that have done to you in the past.

I managed to hold back the tears until i went to work and had the privacy of my milk cooler. a place where i can think and reflect on life in general. the only thing that i could think of were the lyrics to an old Poison song..."Something to Believe In (acoustic version)":

"But when I want to bitch about growing old, I think how many never had a chance."

Stopped in the prime of life, and here i sit taking the every next day for granted, when all i have to do is take that step backwards and fall 250 feet into a rock quarry. Unfortunately I will never have the chance to see Amber again, but i know that she is in a better place. yet it still sucks that someone has to lose there life so young (she was only 21). So take today and embrace it, don't put off something to tomorrow has you may never have a chance for whatever it is.

The simple sound of a ringing phone, and everything changes. The phone rings and even if you know who is on the other side, you don't know what they will say.

So, it seems like i haven't updated in a few days or weeks. not much has been going on, just school and work.

Have you ever noticed that reconnecting with someone you have not talked to in about 3 years brings back a lot of memories. One of my friends who i thought just hated me due to some incidents in middle school and high school contacted me in the past week. we caught up on what has been going on, but it led me to start thinking about some of the people that we used to hang out with. it really sucks when you tell people "we'll always be friends and no matter what we will never loss contact" when you know that the opposite is true. talking to her brought back some people that were my best friends growing up. one now lives in kansas and i have seen or talked to him in about 2years and the other guy we were always getting in trouble with (as all kids do), i haven't talked to his since my freshman year of high school...6 years. even now it still happens, the person that i would tell just about anything to in high school has since moved to arizona and we are lucky to send each other an email once a month. it takes work to keep in touch with people, but when life is coming at you fast and so much is going on around you, the people you want around you the most are the ones you inevitablely push away.

So, not too much has been going on, i'm finally back in the boro and still sleep deprived from camp....I put in about 72 hours of work down there, but at least it pays. not too many exciting things happened except maybe having lunch with Mac Powell of Third Day. The lighting went well after i fixed all my problems and got up and running again. Now i just need a few days to recover but of course i spend all my time at wal-mart and hopefully get to make a quick trip down to Gatlinburg for some more work. well that is about all i got for now

So what is the worst that can happen...i got up a 6 am to work on programming lights for the show...had it all done and then 30 minutes before the service at 7pm, lightning strikes and i lose it all...now is the moment of truth as i drove all the way to atlanta to get another computer with a different interface (if you really want more info just ask). but this is probably my last post for a while as we are to lose our internet connection first thing in the morning. so hopefully i will have some good news and funny stories to tell

Well, day 2....i don't know how much longer we will have this internet connection because it is being killed at 8 am monday morning, so there may be a really long post next week with the stories from camp.... anyways, we were putting up the back/side curtain and needed some clothespins. note that the nearest wal-mart is about 30 miles away as we are in the middle of no where. so we (me and scott the video guy) start driving around in a golf cart to search the camp for clothespins from the clothesline. so instead of walking down the hills to the lines we just drove the golf cart all over the place, and i did not know that golf carts could go up hills like we have here, unfortunately i don't have digital camera so pictures are a long way in coming.

Ok, so instead of making a second post, i will just add to this. now you know that stickers on ladders that say "do not stand or sit above this point." yeah, like speed limits i ignored this. now being 5'6" i had to use a 6' ladder to reach about 12 feet in the air...now if you do the math, even my height does not equal this. so standing on the very top part (big OSHA no no) i had to hang a light and run a cable to it. now mama would definately kill me if she knew this. but now i must leave as i don't want to get pulled into the cricket spitting contest

So, We have internet connection here at the camp i am working at. so i can keep people updated. today was an interesting day to say the least. We met at 10:30 am to load the trailers with sound and lighting gear...and we're suppose to leave no later than 12 noon. so at 1:20 we are all heading out from the zaxby's parking lot. andy, chris and adam were going straight to covington while i was to go pick up some stuff in swanee (both in georgia). now the interesting thing is that covington is on the southeast side of atlanta while swanee is on the northeast. so i am now about 100 miles from where i am suppose to be. well andy calls me to let me know that I-20 is shut down at the perimeter (or where I-285 meets I-20) which is where i was to catch I-20 to go to covington. well he gives me directions to take GA-20 to GA-81 to GA-142 (i know a lot of road names and believe me i had a fun time trying to remember) now, this drive was through the country. i was half expecting to hear "dualing banjo" similar to the movie "deliverance" but i didn't...yet the funniest thing about my drive was the sign that read "left turn on red after stop." now i am used to turning right on red (regardless of signage) but this was just strange to me...well i finally got to the venue at 4 pm after they had both trailers unloaded. well needless to say we worked until almost 10 pm and i just don't feel like programming lights right now, so i think i am going to try and find out where i am sleeping tonight and solve my problems later tomorrow as 1 light has decided not to work and i am not going to explain because even i don't know and understand everything i did...well night all and hopefully i will have more tomorrow....p.s. fried corn on the cob is interesting but good.

So, I'm heading down to atlanta tomorrow night to go work at a church camp...the only one of the summer for me. I'm not even sure what church i am working for this year. So for a week i shall be gone, but hopefully i will be able to find an internet connection as i will have my laptop with me and hopefully can keep my 5 avid readers updated. in other news, not much is going on, so there is nothing to report. well, night all...if you need me just call me on the cell...if i have service

Ok, I will definately admit to being lazy, but today i reached a brand new level. Let's see, here's where the lazyiness starts...i have remotes for just about everything, in fact i sleep with my tv remote so i don't have to ever get up and get it (no i don't have a table next to the bed, its a really small apartment), i also have a wireless keyboard and mouse so that i can type from bed while watching tv, although it is very hard to see the screen...but today i have finally reached a new level. as i was leaving work i decided to pick up some wash cloths because i no longer have any clean ones...yes i know it would be easier to wash them, but i don't want to laundry before wednesday and this seemed a lot easier than walking 2 doors down to the complex "laundry mat" well, i'm off to bed (because i'm actually at my desk right now)

So, I'm hanging out with Laura-Anne tonight and we were watching Home Improvement and the term came up of Baker's Dozen (hence the title) so we started in on designs for a carton of eggs that would hold 13 eggs, now the paper with the drawings has been disposed of, but some suggestions were a circular pattern, but that would be terrible for storage and shipping. Then the idea of a triangle was brought up, but the best configuration has only 10, similar to the bowling pin lay-out. I suggested using a spacer and having room for just one egg...2 columns of 4 then the spacer with one egg and then another column of 4, but i was informed that the use of a spacer was cheating. but her idea of cutting out spots, like a column of 3, then 2, then 3, then 2 and another 3 wasn't cheating and if you alternate the pattern the cartons could be interlocked. So if you have an ideas of how to design a carton with 13 eggs, please let me know