So a lot of times you can mess up and beat yourself up for it for so long that you don't get yourself out. I've noticed with vices that sometimes we feel like we have to fix them or fix ourselves first and then we can come to God. But you can't say well I have to have this thing that I did gone for x-amount of time before I can say I'm through with it or before we can say that we are right with God. I hate sin that is in my life. But I refuse to let it hold me down this time. It's over, it's done, by the grace of God. I am going to put my eyes on Him and His work instead of my problems. I drove home today and it was such a beautful day. I sang praises to Him all the way. Yea there's stuf that's going on, and I am in no way saying I'm perfect. But He has in a way shown me the extent of what is in my life, and He has set me free. It's almost tangible this feeling that I'm free. God is so great!

    I took the course yesterday and today, it was a blast!! I can now get a motorcycle endorsement thing on my liscence.... I have always liked things that thrill... including speed, but I have to be careful because sometimes that means I take risk... my parents used to hate that.. I like waterkiing, knee-boarding, wake-boarding, gallopping on horseback, jumping (horses), rollar coasters etc. etc... but yea this included all the safety stuff. I liked the  curves, and speed!

    Off topic.... have you ever found it strange how joyful you can still be even when you are sorrowful. I miss her. But God has done so much in my life. He has restored the joy, and now though I may mourn and cry, I have His joy. God is so good.

     Hey everyone, classes are going well, everything has been really really busy.. let's see what else is new.... Oh Chris bought me this leather jeacket that I really really wanted!!! HE ROCKS!!!... I'm gonna go get a picture. well.... I'll post it in a little bit.... I may go riding first, before it gets too dark... let's see what else... hmmm.... I'm starting to get hungry right now ;-)....

Talk to y'all later, leave me some comments!

    So I have been to all my classes except the lab now. My teachers are cool. It poured all day the first day I was sopping wet. I like having classes with chris. He's an awesome brother! I like riding in his new mustang. History may actually be interesting which is good, I don't do well with history. I should do ok overall this semester, it's going to be a tough juggle but God's awesome and He's my strength and my joy. I did well setting up for this semester, I didn't stress and didn't go overboard with preperation. I'll do my best and try my hardest and then try not to stress. Joy is the key, and I have been blessed to be able to keep mine lately.

    I know you all know that, but He is. Anytime I start to feel aweful, I do my devotions early. I usually start them between 12-2, unless I get tired early and then I so them early, but when stuff is going wrong I'll either do them twice or do them early and spending time with Him makes me feel soo much better. I was thinking the other day about the aspects of the trinity and how I relate to them, and I realized that I usually Pray to God, I thank Christ for what He has done and what He went through, and I converse with the Holy Spirit calling Him Counselor. I am so amazingly thankful that my christianity is a relationship. He has given me so much. And when something is going on that I need to talk out, God has given me the most amazing friends anyone could ever ask for. You all are incredible!! Speaking of  friends, hey all of you if want to play racquetball, call me, I want to play. luv you guys!

    Ok I finally posted some pictures of my vacation. When I was in New Hampshire and saw the ones with me in them, it made me decide to lose some weight. Since then I have lost 7 pounds YAY! I have such a good looking family. I have a gorgeous sister, two cute little brothers and 3 hott brothers... can I say that? Haha anyway jeff is getting married this spring and there are some pictures here with him and his fiance. She's really pretty. Doesn't seeing others really happy with a special someone make you want one... sighh... haha ok enough, someday.... someday, I will meet an amazing guy who's perfect for me, untill then I'm fine just knowing God' in control of it all... talk to you all later

    So today I spent from 7am to 5pm in the office trying to get the books straightned out with an accountant. It was frustrating near the end, but I had promised myself to have a good attitude... then my day got extremely awesome!! As soon as I could I bolted for the door and went riding!! Red just got shoes so I actually could ride when I wanted!! Then to top it off, we got our big screen projector system hooked up today and Mrs. Julie came over!! She is awesome!! Anyway, looking forward to a great weekend you all have fun!

PS. you all need to comment on my art!!!! pretty please I want to know what you all think.

    Ok I promised a while back that I would put some art on here.. I just put some on and will eventually put more if you all are interested.. Give me some feedback!
     Really criticize away. I am not going to feel hurt really.. most of what is here are excercises and practices, I know I could use improvement. So don't be shy really give me some feedback... pretty please?

Thank you!
    Last week was a bad week I admit that I had a bad attitude for part of it, and I messed up some things, but I am fixing it. Thank you for commenting on my last post. It helped.
    Between now and when school starts I'm going to be swamped!! ick!
    So what's going on with you all? Do you ever feel like you are two people? The person you feel like you are and want to be, and then the person who keeps messing up and having to deal with stuff?

So someone told me that I needed to do this name thing.... tell me what you guys think... that means you have to comment!!


Rebecca
You are both a visionary and a realist able to bring your dreams into tangible form. Pioneering and ambitious you accept new challanges and the responsibilities which go with them willingly. Your sound judgement, resourcefulness and posative nature means that your progress in life is assured. Certainly your kindness and generosity to others and your inspirational manner attract success as well as many admirers.
Ann
Grace : Hebrew
Charming, witty, original and idealistic you have a creative and inventive mind with great intuition. Your broad vision, perceptive powers and compassion gives you an instinctive understanding of peoples needs.You are a natural leader who has a talent for inspiring and teaching others and always display fairness, honesty and integrity. You are always a new challange for your vast creative potential.
Jensen
You are an inspiring leader whose originality, creativity and wisdom are applied to creating practical solutions to "unsolvable" problems. Humanitarian and idealistic your vision is to make the world a better place and you will work to this end. Hardworking and tenacious people admire you for your honesty and integrity. You are a loved and loyal  friend and partner. You have the potential to achieve success in the world.




Ok so obviously everyone wants to think they have potential for success, but is any of this really me?

So.... I have to do office work today.... check out the pic.... I am going to get photos from vacation posted on here shortly and show you my beautiful family.
 Life is good, God is better.

Hope you all have an awesome day!!

As I look over the year I realize that at this time last year I was headed for Washington state with my mother... So many things have happened since then that it seems both like that was forever ago and it also feels like it was yesterday... I spent 7 weeks there with my mom. Then we came home to our family and on march 2 she went home to Christ...

Grief is a strange thing and so many times I feel this twisting pain that hurts more than anything I had ever experienced. And yet I was also thankful that she no longer suffered, because there were many times when she would cry and tell me she wanted to go home, not home to tennessee but home to be with God her Father. I want to thank a few people again for how much they did for me.

Hooper, Chris Morgan, and Randy, faithfully called me every day while I was in Washington you have absolutely no idea how much those calls meant.

Everyone who helped here at my house to keep it running while I was gone, including, Mrs. Candi, Mrs. Danita, Mrs. Donna, and Mrs. Suzanne.

So many things since then were packed into my year. Showing that life doesn't stop. Since then I worked my tail off to finish all my highschool requirements on time, graduated early, competed in national fine arts, did secretarial work for my father, and completed my first semester at MTSU.

It's a strange feeling sometimes because you almost don't want life to go on... people say "life goes on" and sometimes I wanted to start screaming and say that no it shouldn't... so many things have gone wrong and I have messed up in so many different ways. But life does go on and all we can do is remember that God is in control. I have learned to enjoy life in the present no matter what is going on, and I have learned that maybe, maybe sometimes it is ok to cry and think back, but I shouldn't always see that as weakness and beat myself up for it.

God has blessed me... He gave me a wonderful family, he gave me time with my mother, she was more than just a mom, she was like a best friend and my mom, I learned so much from her, and I will see her again. He gave me a Dad with strong faith, brothers and a sister to lean on, and to give me a feeling that I can give to them as well as draw from them.
I have decided that maybe I am a little stubborn as some tell me, and that that is a blessign from God because if I wasn't than I would have givven up on some of this stuff I have been going through as of late. But instead I have gotten through it with persistance, but most of all with the help of my savior, Christ.

And He has also given me the best friends anyone could ever have, friends who cried with me and supported me, who when I was at me weakest points, including that night my mom passed away, have gathered around me and helped me through it all. I love you all. Thank you so much
And thank you that you have all taught me that you can have joy, laugh and be thankful even at times as now when I am sitting here thinking how rediculous I must look sitting crying over a keyboard because I am so grateful. I love you all really you all know who you are. and I am proud to have such caring and wonderful friends.

So phusebox is back up... well I suppose that's obvious. I'm in New Hampshire right now, and I got to play in the snow!! built an igloo and a snow-woman/caroler and got to know Jeff's fiance, Anady, better. I also went ice skating for the first time ever!!!! It was sooo much fun! I'll try to put pictures of my vacation up here....

I know all you people back there miss me and yeah I miss you all too... haha sure ya do. anyway christmas was amazing, loads of fun!

So yeah life without school is definatly awesome and I really don't want to go back right away... ::sigh:: but yeah there is a lot of stuff that I need to do before then.

So are you all making any new years resolutions?

I am going to:

Start (or continue as I have the last week) running, doing my workout routine and eating more healthily (word?) so that I can lose some weight.

Read the one year bible again... I haven't gone through the whole thing in a while, unless you count my devotions, but those are usually pretty  much new testament, old occasionally but I always find myself going back to favorites for devotions.. like james, I &II Timothy, and Psalms.

Be more organized with my school... I need to get caught up with filing and get my room in shape.

And continue trying to have more fun... not changing what I do but have more fun doing it... basically enjoy what God has given me, but don't mistake that as kicking back, I want to do more for Him now than ever! Life should be completely and totally lived for Him, and that is my #1 priority.

So any resolutions? I think it's fun to hear others.

Your Birthdate: June 24

You understand people well and are a natural born therapist.

A peacemaker, people always seem to get along when you are around.

You tend to be a father or mother figure to friends, even to those older than you.

You enjoy your role, and you find that you are close to many people.


Your strength: Your devotion


Your weakness: Reliance on others for happiness


Your power color: Lilac


Your power symbol: Heart


Your power month: June

http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/

    So the last couple days have been amazing! My devotions, prayer time, and worship time are always awesome, but sometimes you just have those days where everything just works together in one of those and it makes it AMAZING!! Well, the last couple days all of them have been absolutly amazing in all areas!!

     I have also been out with my horses, the cats, out in the hot-tub, and christmas shopping.  It's not that I don't have anything to do, but I have had just enough to do to keep me busy while getting to do  fun stuff in-between.

    and MY COMPUTER IS TOGETHER!!! Windows still needs to be installed and some small stuff. but it's together! (for those who don't know I'm building a computer.) It rocks! It's better than Paul's or Chris'!!! YAY!.. (sorry I had to brag)

    On another note.. don't you love having friends!!

PS.. have you noticed that I learned to type in a way that is as if I were speaking and that is not so formal! aren't you guys proud of me?

I just got my psychology grade back... it was a B+.....which means I will not have a 4.0....

Today is my biggest, hardest, and most important exam!!! It is also my last!!! If I ace this test, along with the three papers I'm turning in... I will have an A in this class... Pray for me please. I usually get really stressed when I am taking a test and I don't do well even though the material should be easy for me. God's in control, and He cares about something as small as a test. I pray He'll help me not get stressed. I need this grade!! Pray please! I'll let you guys know how I did.

           I keep thinking of how much I miss her. I miss talking to her. If ever I needed advice about anything from cooking, to schooling, to guys, she was who I went to. Instead of going and having 'girl talk' with other girls I would go adn sit on her bed, and she knew that I  wanted to talk. We would sit in her room and fold laundry, or clean, or patch clothing, and talk. Now I find myself on days when I am here by myself, I find myself sitting in on her bed. Sometimes when I find myself wishing she had gotten better, I realize how selfish that is. Someone gave us an ornament this year that said;

I love you all dearly,
Now don't shed a tear,
I'm spending my Christmas
With Jesus this year.

        I know she is happy. And, yet still, everything that went on in Washington still stays clear and heavy in my mind. She is wiht Christ, well and rejoicing. But the images of things past cling. It seems sometimes, that only those who are older, desire for their time to be with Christ, to hasten in it's coming, but I sometimes so desire that time to be now. Chirst is the only one to whom you can draw close, without the fear of losing that one. I want to draw closer to Him. May I always remember that He should be my focus. 

So the semester is almost over. I am so thankful! What are you all doing for Christmas break?

Are we all going to be caught up in the stress and rush of getting everything done? I really want to make sure that I take time to enjoy this break. I don't want to forget about, excuse the cliche, the reason for the season. I mean, I don't think that I will actually forget it, but with so much to do I may get lost in the hurry of everything.

I would like, because I have more time over break, to spend more time in my devotion tme. Do you all ever feel like you are trying to give your life to Christ, but you keep doing your own thing while you are "waiting for Him" to give you somehing specific to do?