My Stairwell

January 24 2006
Less than love
lies with life
and I can't believe you
for taking that away.

I hear it beating
can't you feel it
you ask "Why?"
and I tell the truth.
But I tone it down
It's like not love,
what I really mean.

Less than love
lies with life
and I can't believe you
for taking that away.

This is fantasy
but I told the truth
in that cold stairwell
salt on each step
and I tell you the truth.
I don't hold back
It's like not love,
what I really mean.

Less than love
lies with life
and I will believe you
if you give it all to me.

Less than love
lies with life
and I can't blame you
for looking the other way.

An Elegant Disaster For You And I

January 24 2006
I'm afraid you're there
even when you're not
this distance is a complication
and I'm not afraid to try.

Your words are unclear
reception cuts like a knife
through "I love you's" and "I'm sorry's"
and I'm not afraid to try.

Passion in me withheld
I ask you for the time
or look to the sky and scream
and I'm not afraid to try.

With our legs together
I listened to your breath
and watched your pretty eyes watch your dreams
and I never felt the same.

Proximity be damned
I'll travel five hundred miles
just to hear you say my name
and I'm so afraid to try.

Storm Clouds

January 20 2006
Justin told me that this is going to be the best year of my life. I sure hope he's right.

After losing several nights of sleep, I came clean to the one who has a firm grip on my heart. I told her how I felt in bursts broken by fear and sighing. It was such a relief to tell her everything.

Granted, we're not together. Several hundred miles separate us right now, and she's still figuring things out in her life. I can't tell if it's a blow-off or not, but at the very least, we shared that shaking moment over the airwaves and hopefully that will mean something.

I want her so bad, it hurts. But it hurts less now that I've told her everything.

This place sometimes makes me obsess. I need to learn to relax again; I don't need to talk to her every day to start something. I know she's not avoiding me. Why would she? Yet being so alone here, and having so much hope, I get paranoid from time to time.

Man, this one is serious. I mean it, from stem to stern, boots to cap, I'm waiting for this one.

I hope Justin's right.

Trust Your Instincts

January 02 2006
Last time I saw you
We had just split in two
You were looking at me
I was looking at you
You had a way so familiar
But I could not recognize
'Cause you had blood on your face
I had blood in my eyes


November 03 2005
The adventures of living with an extremely ignorant conservative have gotten me thinking a lot about my sociopolitical ideology. Personally, I'm extremely liberal, but I tend to accept opinions. The one thing I've noticed about most of the conservatives I've dealt with (or "South Park Republicans," as they enjoy proclaiming themselves) is that they tend to argue that facts are "opinions," often saying that "well, they haven't really proven anything," even about the most blatant of factual information. On the flipside of this same coin, they regard their own opinions as absolute, unalterable fact.

Ah, ignorance. Isn't it lovely?

Not to say that all conservatives are ignorant; in fact, I've met several who actually do have funcitonal opinions and relatively open minds. It's just that there's a very large population of idiots who take the ideas and run with them. The same can be said for either end of the political spectrum.

OK, rant done. Go home!

Verily I say, unto you dudes.

November 03 2005
Well, hidey ho.

This is officially my umpteenth new blog.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that I defined umpteenth simply by creating this many damn blogs.  I figured that since this community is fairly new and small, it'll be nice to have a sort of quasi-private, but still massively attention getting web space.

Plus, Kelly made me do it. :)

Perhaps I'll make something out of this blog, as opposed to all of the others that I've abandoned for one reason or another.  My Opera blog is sort of on hiatus until they FIX THE DAMN INTERFACE. Opera.  Oh, irony, why do you taunt me so?  This one doesn't seem to work in Opera either, but it's ok in Firefox, so I guess I can live with that temporarily.

And now, a list of random thoughts:

  • There is a 19" LCD monitor sitting on the desk next to me with no computer attached.  How sad.

  • Some guy is fixing a laptop behind me.  He's using one of those anti-static pads to prevent shocks.  Hah newb.

  • I'm in a computer lab.  Go figure.

  • I have an advisor meeting in exactly 14 minutes.

  • I'm a Marketing major now.  I rule you.

  • I can't wait until the next volume of Legal Drug comes out.  Does that make me gay?

  • Is it really as easy as Dell?

Alright.  It's been a good, strong, first entry.  I can end it now with a feeling of satisfaction.  Bye.