Exploiting the Patriot Act for My Own Benefit

September 26 2006
My biochemistry professor is a very nice Asian lady, Dr. Kim.  Monday we had our first test over the 20 amino acids and their structures.  I can draw them all, give you their three-letter and one-letter abbreviations, and tell you at what pH they will lose their protons.  However, due to a rather picky point about terminology (in which she isn't entirely right), and b/c she apparently doesn't give partial credit, I made an 80 on the quiz.  Evidently, the fact that I add an extra positive charge to this molecule (which, based on her loose terminology, is technically valid) is just as wrong as someone who completely misdraws it.

Now, I am not happy with this fact.  Therefore, I have come up with a solution.  I briefly considered going and talking with her/reasoning/bluntly stating my opinion.  However, let's face it--I am a passive-agressive person.  To that extent, I have devised a new plan: since she's from Korea, I will phone the FBI and tell them she's making chemical weapons.  She will then be sent to Guantanamo or deported or something, and then I shall not have to deal with her.

This may be too much, you're thinking.  Remember, though, that I am a Jew--I operate by the "eye for an eye" law.  She gave me an 80; therefore, she's sent to prison camp.  I think it's a fair trade.

If she happens to relent and give the class partial credit, I will consent to let her stay in the country.  Maybe.  But only if she's nice.  The next move is hers.  We shall see.

Josh Morgan

September 27 2006
James, I like your thinking. I think I'll have Chuck drawn and quartered for mixing up those records. 4 hours of work for me, 4 hours of stetching for him.