*sigh*

May 01, 2006Well, Allison and I were able to talk again before she headed to bed, and we're cool now, which makes me happy.

I want to give up

April 30, 2006I was sleeping.  I got to sleep and I was happy to be going to bed early.  But the phone rang and woke me up - my parents had gotten me an exam week care package that I had to pick up.  So after 25 minutes of scouring the campus and asking random Reslife workers, I got my box.  Naturally, being the doofus I am, I called my parents to thank them.  Dad picked up and I thanked him.  But then the conversation went sour and stayed that way.  After we got off the phone, I called home again and got Mom; same deal.  Meanwhile, I'm wondering why this is happening.  It's exam week, so to help me stay focused and prepared, my parents give me the most depressing half hour of my life, talking about how I should have done this or that, how Jason would have done better, how I would never do anything if they didn't bring it up first.  Allison was there, thank God, and I actually cried into her shoulder.  I do not do that.

Bright side - I've got seven songs done.  I should hopefully be getting my mic and software this week, so I can start learning the way things work and, hopefully, be recording in a few weeks.  It will be abysmally low quality at best, but it'll give me something to play with.  I mean, honestly, who am I kidding?  The best I'll ever make with anything musical is to just play around and sing in small churches.  God gave me a gift there, but it's not a very big one.

I'm just in an all-around pissy mood.  I hurt Allison's feelings (yay, me!), I'm losing what little drive/motivation I had accumulated over the past few weeks...it's as if, once again, my world is crashing down around me.  So I turn to God and say "WTF?"  God turns to me and says, "FU!"  And I drink some water and go to bed.

I'm retarded

April 28, 2006It's fun to be stupid, so I decided to be so.  I got onto EBay today and bought a microphone for $.01, then started bidding on a piece of recording/editing/mixing software at $.99.  Unless someone else decides to bid against me, I should be expecting the prize sometime next week.  Otherwise, I can just buy the software for about $10.  Still not too expensive.  After buying all of this, it will rot in my closet for the next few years before I sell it all at a yard sale for a few bucks.

Scholarship

April 26, 2006What have I been up to?  Everything.  My GPA last semester was 1.9, so
I needed a 4.0 this semester in order to maintain my scholarships.  Let
me tell you, 4.0 with 15 hours is not easy.  Anyway, it got down to the
wire when I found out that, due to my test grades in my Psych class, I
would have a B.  Normally, not a downer, but the fact that a $5k/yr
scholarship was resting on it kind of pooped everything else up.  So I
started going down the list of options.  I tried bargaining for extra
credit - no dice.  Apparently 58 hours of psychological research is not
sufficient for ec.  Anyway, after that, I went for a special extra
probationary semester next semester to get my GPA up by retaking the
class I failed.


You know, it kind of sucks that one class that is unrelated to my major put me in this situation, but whatever.


The mystical "Committee" turned down my request for a probationary
semester.  So then what would I do?  I begged the professor for extra
credit.  No dice, once again.  I looked into various ways to gain the
grade through special examination (which my advisor bungled up by
feeding me info for the CLEP stuff...and mom and dad wonder why I don't
like asking her for help - she also told me to give up and get a job). 
So, yeah, I was down to the line - seek gainful employment with the
University for free hours, or start paying a crapload of money. 
Naturally, I opted for the third option - find another way to retain my
scholarship.  I went to the Honors director, Connie, and asked her if
it would be possible to take a summer course as a retake and have it
count for the 2005-2006 academic year.  She said I could and suggested
I talk to Kathy, the Scholarship coordinator about it.  The next day,
mom and dad suggested I find out if this thing would be possible. 
Luckily, I was already on it.  So I talked to Kathy on Monday and she
told me to get a letter from Connie.  Unluckily, the two busiest days
of the semester were this past Sunday and Monday because of the Honors
SOAR (Student Orientation, Advisement, and Registration), so everyone
of status in Honors were working our butts off on that stuff.  In a
brief reprieve, I threw a letter together and passed it by Connie, much
to everyone else's chagrin - they thought I should wait, but I've been
testy lately, so waiting was not an option.  She checked it out and
said to have it sent as a memo, but not to turn it in until Tuesday. 
Naturally, I turned it in on Monday and had it sent then.


So now it's Tuesday.  Kathy emailed me this:

Defintes

April 21, 2006Okay, so I've got some definite things about to be happening, and other things I'm not so sure will be happening, and they're all starting to get on my nerves.

Definite: I'm going to lose a $5000/yr. scholarship after this semester.

Indefinite: I was playing with numbers last night and found that it would be possible to make that money up in work-study, but it would require approximately 12 hours of work every Saturday mixed with 24 hours during the week for 14 weeks on top of a 17-hour schedule.

Definite: I'm researching right now on how to create a mythical, mystical demo tape to send to a few recording companies (all Christian labels, mind you, but they do exist).

Indefinite: After finally viewing American Idol away from a psycho ex-girlfriend, I think I may like to audition next time it comes around where I am.  The only problems I would have with it are that I am going to be working all summer and having the school situation described above /|\.  But, yeah, I'd love to try.

Definite: I will be returning to Tech next year.

Indefinite: My parents will provide their blessing, financial assistance, or anything else.

*sigh*