here you go

hey, i told you guys i LOVE to write, correct?  (i just said that so i didn't have to say "write, right?"...lol)  well, here's an "I'm bored so i wrote this" one!

-Preface-

Do I really stare at him that much?  I sometimes catch myself doing it...but not that often!  He says I always stare at him, but who wouldn't?  He's gorgeous!  Why do I stare at him?  It doesn't matter.  He would never like me anyways.  No matter how nice he might be, I don't think he could forsake his popularity...for me.  He's so perfect, it almost makes me jealous, but then I wonder WHY I don't like him instead!  I mean, they are the same in a way...but that's not important.  Right now, I'm not sure if I like him or not...I almost hope I do.  But every time I like someone, I end up almost leading myself on--making myself believe they like me.  I say I love them, but do I?  Can I?  I'm scaring myself...will anyone ever believe it if it's true?  Will I even?  I THINK I'M IN LIKE.

-Chapter 1-

I'm extreme sometimes.  I get very worked up, and on a rare occasion, Milly has to calm me down.  "Don't worry about him, he's a jerk!  Don't you know that you are just wasting your time?"  There she was again, Milly was always trying to comfort me.  "Yeah, I know, Mills, but he's different!  I just know it!"  This guy we were fighting about, Josh, he was SO perfect!  I'd been crushing (HARD) on him for 3 months now, and there I was, yelling at Milly about another guy who didn't know I existed.  "Milly, why can't I find love just one time...just like everyone else?"  "Well," Milly said,"If Josh...isn't the one for you, God's got someone WAY better in His plan."  "Well, I know, Milly...but I'm beginning to think that no one will ever...like me."  "Ray, if I hear that from you one more time, I swear!"  We fought like this a lot, but this time was different.  Mills had a boyfriend.  Usually, we would sulk together, laughing at how silly that was.  But not now.  Now, it was like I was alone.  My best friend couldn't even relate to me!  "You don't understand, Mills, how can you?  You have a boyfriend and I don't!  You have everything."  "Ray, boys are not the important thing in life!  And just because I have a boyfriend and you don't doesn't mean you have the right to come to me and whine about it!"  Whoa, stop right there!  How could Milly say something like that to me?  She had been my best friend since we were both in kindergarten.  "Milly, you think you are so much better than me, but you're not!"  With tears in my eyes, I grabbed my back pack off her bed, jumped up, and slammed the door behind me, leaving Mills...I mean, Milly in complete and utter shock.  On my way out, her mom tried to stop me, but I didn't listen.  I was so hurt...Mills knew I was sensitive, especially about THAT situation, and she still said it!  I couldn't believe her!  By this time, I was walking down the sidewalk toward my house.  But in my anger, I tripped and ended up falling right at the feet of this gorgeous hunksicle!!!  He looked down at me and said "hi" with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.  In my embarrassment, I was able to mutter a shaky "hello".  He looked back at me, shook his hair, and said with a smirk,"You know, I'm not used to girls bowing down at my feet, but if you want to, I'm fine with it."  He helped me up and we started walking into the sunset, holding hands and talking about our future!  Okay, so maybe it didn't happen EXACTLY like that.

        do ya like it?           

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your real friends

i guess...i mean, i know who my real friends are.

you find out who your real friends are when you are the one being a pain, and they stick by you.  they help you through the darkest storms, pray for you, and are always there when you need them.  but, sometimes, you have to let go.  sometimes, you NEED to move on.  and occasionally, you'll find someone better.  there are only a few of these people in your life.

this has really been hitting me in the face...pretty hard lately.  like, i find out who God really is...when i let go of my burdens.  even when i'm not being very Christ-like, He won't ever leave me nor forsake me.  I've found that when i just let go, i am so much more joyful.  i can see life's true beauty and really understand what i need to work on in life.  This isn't, like, super deep or book-worthy...but it's what i felt like i needed to share with people.  God's there even when people aren't.  In life, I won't be reliable, but God always will be.

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WOW

So, my day was interesting.  my ankle hurts....ow.  If you didn't know this about me, I peel my bananas upside-down.  I did that at lunch today and my friends call me wierd.  I AM NOT WEIRD.  (but i can't spell wierd.)  I like the band Everlife.  I also like TCAP week.  But, I hate TCAP.  (A.K.A. TCRAP)  I also wish COREY would check and reply to his stinkin' messages every now and then!!!  (hint hint)  Mime was fun lastnight.  WOO!  So, tell me about your day unless you just don't want to.  WOW...bored!  I want some ice cream real bad...

_`*`Freeze-dried Romance`*`_

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am i bipolar

sadly, 'tis true.

RESULTS: (i just took this test!  lol)

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Untitled

Okay, time to tell you about some more stuff about me.

Well, ever since I was little, I've wanted to sing.  It's my dream, my passion, and my talent (or so i'm told).  But, if this doesn't work, my plan is to be a literature teacher.  I love to write and I also have a passion for teaching others and a passion for literature.  I really don't like algebra...I'm in it right now...SOOO looking forward to Gateway, not!  But, I'm not that bad at it.  I have a brother...I think he's human.  I love to dance...it's one way to get my confused bipolar feelings out.  My favorite sport is by FAR volleyball!  (But, sadly for others, I have NO athletic ability WHATSOEVER!!!).  I play the piano, my forte, and have been playing for 6 years.  I plan to double-major in Literature and Music and minor in Art or Musical Theatre.  Which, by the way, brings me to another interest of mine, art.  I will try to get some of my pictures I've drawn/painted on here.  Tamara has one of my paintings!!  : P.  My favorite medium...is...I don't know.  I like it all...except watercolors.  HATE THEM.  I make jewelery.  As you can see, I am quite busy.  No wonder I'm crazy.  WE GET TO TAKE TCAP ON MONDAY!!!  (Teacher's Child Abuse Program)  If you have any questions for me, feel free to message me.  (Gosh, I sound like a nerdy brainiac...don't say anything about that...you know who I am talking to!!!)  I am, contrary to popular belief...haha, a blonde!!!  I am ditzy a lot...but I occasionally say smart things.  People underestimate me quite a bit and, golly gee, I hate it.  My hero is my Sunrise.  (You might just know who I am talking about...)  But, see, he didn't change the world...but he changed mine.  He inspires me to do better in everything, and everything I can't do well, he can.  But more than anything, he gives me strength, the chills sometimes, and the constant freedom to be myself and not be judged by him.  And against all odds, I can fight the battle...of middle school or whathaveyou.  I love GOLF!!!  It's so much fun!  My favorite golfer...I'll have to go cliche' and say...Tiger Woods.  I was watching the Masters on Easter...and he didn't win.  OH WELL!!!  I like to photograph random things...and un-random things, as well!  I could go on about my cluttered mind, though it's empty!  lol.  I never realized how much there is to know about me.  I'm a complex person!  Well, I hope your day is so AWESOME that you  just HAVE to write about it.  And if your day isn't awesome, I hope you have the Faith to know that tomorrow will be better.

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