you give love a bad name

my day was kinda stinky.  we were doing something in literature where you had to circle a problem you thought was big in our school.  i circled rejection.  i put my signature smiley face with it.  (keep in mind it's just a smiley face on an eraser board.)  someone said something about it...and the teacher was like, "Who did that?"  well, i raised my hand..."honesty pays off"...sure.  so, she says, "FOLLOW THE RULES!"  i thought that was so stupid...i was just messing around...that's not something to get mad about.  it was so embarrassing because all my friends and stuff are in that class...i was mad.  then, in mr. cochran's class, he got mad at me for answering someone's question.  AUSTIN said,"You had a bad day...that's okay it will be better tomorrow..."  so sweet!  then he patted me on the back...he does that quite frequently.  (i'm telling you megan!  just watch him!)  Then, i heard that the literature teacher wrote me up...but she didn't, thankfully.  And I forgot...we are reading this stupid book (if you could even call it such) in English...(homeroom) and it's so stupid.  it's gruesome and it makes me like uncomfortable and i don't see the point in it.  i could read a chapter in my social studies book and get the same thing.  The teacher said that she was going to stop reading because it was almost time to leave...the class said, "NO!"  I said, "It's okay, you can stop!"  She kinda got mad...then she read my journal because i told her that i wrote about what i really thought in the journal...she probably hates me now.  but when i have an opinion on something, it's going to be spoken, heard, and listened to.  I'm a pretty strong-willed person when it comes to some things.  I had a bad day, but not so bad...tehe.  I'm just lucky to have Jesus on my side.  I'm also lucky to have as many friends as I do...especially THAT ONE!!! lol.  Well, I hope you had a good day.  I just thought I would let it all go.  i'm physically and mentally exhausted.

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i'm a sucker for...

I'm a sucker for...

1. guitar players 2. Tenors 3. Smart guys 4. Animal lovers 5. Blondes 6. Blue-eyed hunks...lol 7. A GOD-SERVING GUY 8. Tall guys (but not too tall!) and last, but not least...SANTA!!!!

remember, i heart guys that heart music...lol

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Untitled

hi people.  i'm enjoying life, you could say.  i don't think i'm going to post any more of my story, but i might.  if i'm going to get it published, i don't want everyone to read it first!  Then, when (if) they get the book, it spoils the surprise...but i probably will post a little more.  when i write more, that is!  Anyways,

carmen likes someone!  duh.  i also just got some new songs for my iPod!  i need ideas, though.  I can't decide (or think of) which songs to put on there.  I hate science fair experiments.  i REALLY don't like them at all.  for like the first time in my life, i'm looking forward to school tomorrow.  woo school.  sometimes i don't understand...i wish i did.  i'm really confused right now.  I like Leeland.  They're purty dang cool.  Oh, durn.  I'm not looking forward to school tomorrow...nevermind.  We are staying in algebra all stinkin' day to prep for Gateway.  Why do they test us so much?  I HATE IT.  But, i get to spend all day with my friends...cool!  i'm quite bored.  bored out of the mind i don't have.

i went to a baseball game on wednesday with neely...it was fun!  i didn't know austin was the pitcher.  i think it's funny to watch people pitch.  okay...hi...tata

t.t.y.l.a.y.w.p.t.i.l.a.a.b.

n.r.c.i.d.e.k.s.o.y.b.a.b.i.g.w.n.r.

b.i.n.l.j.n.w.a.

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My story

PLEASE REMARK!!  I love constructive criticism!

-Chapter 2 (cont.)-

I was walking from school to my house, alone and depressed.  I walked up to my front porch, and lo and behold there sat the jerk I call Benson.  "Hey, Rayne!" he said.  "Oh, hey Benson!" I said, sarcastically.  "Now you notice me.  If you don't mind my asking, why the heck are you sitting on my front porch?"  "Well, I was waiting for you."  Oh, brother!  He's such a faker...why does he even care about me anyways?  "I don't understand, Benson.  Just today at school you acted like you had no clue who I was!"  He frowned.  "Yeah, I'm sorry about that.  If you want me to leave, I will.  That was wrong of me."  Aww!!!  How sweet!  (How could I resist such flattery?)  "No, that's okay!  Just let me go put my stuff up...I want to talk to you."  I walked inside, threw my stuff down, and ran back out.  He smiled when he saw me, and my heart skiped a beat when I saw him.  I was going crazy over this boy, and I had to figure him out.

-Chapter 3-

"Benson, what's up with you?  I mean, how can I be sure that tomorrow at school you won't act like you've never seen me before?  Because the Benson I saw today at school was not the same one that I talked to for 2 hours yesterday afternoon.  Not the one who made me feel...um...happy!  Yeah, that's the word...happy."  He looked at me...his eyes were soft and it was one of those, 'there's no need for words' moments.  "Rayne, I have something to tell you.  First of all, I'm sorry...and second, I...nevermind."  If you hadn't caught on yet, yes, I very much liked Benson.  "You what?" I asked; hoping it was what I wanted to hear.  "Well, nevermind, Rayne.  You probably won't care.  You're way too pretty and smart to care about someone like me...I've gotta go." Oh, no.  Stab in the heart.  "No, Benson, wait!!" I yelled, hoping to get a positive response.  But he didn't stop.  I remember knowing that I should follow him and tell him how I really felt, but I didn't go.  I had to make a point to do that...sometime in the near future, before he slipped between the cracks and I lost him.  I really didn't want that.  So, there I was, alone yet again...and mad.  Mad at myself for not going after him.  There really was something different about Benson.  Something good different.  Wow, I think I've fallen for him so hard that I've broken something and I can't get up!

-    *    *    *    -

As soon as I got back home, I prayed...hard.  I prayed for Benson, and whatever was going on with him.  I prayed for Milly, that she would forgive me, I was so stupid.  I prayed for my parents, I know it's a pain having to put up with me.  And, last but not least, I prayed for help.  I needed God's help!  I felt as though I was stuck in some sort of trap and the only way to get out was through Him.  All of the sudden, the phone rang.  It was Milly.  "Listen, Ray, I'm so sorry.  I'm not better than you, you are great just the way you are, and I don't know everything.  Do you want to come over so we can talk about it?"  She sounded so sincere!  (Thanks, God.)  "Milly, are you sure you want me to do that?  Do you think we can?" I really didn't want to hurt her feelings.  "Rayne, you're my best friend and I want to talk to you!"  "Okay, Mills, I'll be right over."  I grabbed my stuff and began my long, treacherous journey to the other side of the neighborhood.

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back...more of story

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!!! lol

-Chapter 2-

"Do you play any sports?"  I said as I walked alongside my newly-found companion.  (Yeah, I know, I'm not exactly romantic!)  "Well, I like basketball and baseball, but I just transferred so I don't have a school team."  "Oh, cool...I guess.  What school are you going to now?"  "Stanley middle.  I start tomorrow."  When he said that, my heart jumped.  I didn't understand it.  "Oh, my gosh!  That's, like, my school!"  What was wrong with me?  'Oh, my gosh that's like my school'?  What was I thinking?  I don't talk like that!  He started skipping and waving his hands around saying,"That's, like, totally awesome, girl!"  (Great, now he was mocking me.)  We walked past my house a few times, talking about random things: sports, school, music, art, and then something totally unexpected-love.  "Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked me, very unexpectedly.  That was like a stab in the heart, after what had happened a mere few minutes ago with Milly.  I cringed.  "No," I said,"I guess I'm just not the 'girlfriend type'."  He looked puzzled.  "Sure you are!  Maybe just not for the guy you've got your eye set on.  You never know, someone could come along...when you least expect it."  He glanced at his watch and said,"Sorry, I have to go!  See you at school tomorrow, uh...um, I didn't catch your name."  "My name's Rayne!  And your's?"  "Name's Benson!" he yelled.  By this time, he was already half a football field away from me.  "Wow," I thought,"He's awesome."

-    *    *    *    -

The next day at school, I had butterflies...was it because of him?  I kept looking around, but I didn't see him.  Then, on my way to lunch, there he was.  He looked even more gorgeous than beore!  I waved at him, but he just looked at me like he didn't know who the heck I was or why I was waving at him.  So, I went over there.  "Hey, Benson!  What's up?"  Just then, Josh came over there.  He brought along his stupid girlfriend, who was instantly 'attracted' to Benson.  A cold stab of jealousy jabbed me in the side.  I just walked off, trying to avoid any conflicts.  I looked back and they hadn't even noticed I'd left!  All I could hear was some loud laughter and what sounded like my name followed by a distorted sounding,"Hey, Benson!  What's up?".  I thought I had found someone who liked me for who I was.  But, things aren't always what they seem.  He was just one of those stupid popular robots.  Sometimes I wish that just for once, someone would like me...just once.

-    *    *    *    -

to be continued...i have more but i've run out of time!

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