The waaaah-nderful life of the average American Teen

October 25, 2006Teens have it awfully hard!  Oh man... I want a $60 t-shirt from Abercrombie, but my stupid parents will only buy me a $40 t-shirt from American Eagle.  How can I ever face my public?  I'm complicated, deep, and sophisticated, with a hidden dark side I never show the world.  I'm mysterious and cynical.  No one understands me.  I'm so alone.  I wear a mask that I use to hide the real me.  Don't try to help me.  It's too late.  No one thinks I'm pretty.  No one talks to me.  I live my life in a dank cave of misery while those around me enjoy the sunshine of normalacy.  I'm sinking deeper and deeper.  I'm drowning.  I will love Johnny forever, and he doesn't even know I exist.  I'm softly slipping into quiet oblivion.  No one cares.  I'm grounded from my cell phone until Friday.  I'm utterly alone and desolate.  Let me die.

Geez.  Pull yourselves together.  I understand that a lot of teens find their niche in playing the forgotten loner, dark and disturbed, but that doesn't make you cool.  That doesn't even make you interesting.  Now, most teens are interesting people, but pretending to be downtrodden isn't particularly endearing.  While some teens definitely have some serious problems, the majority of them are getting all worked up about the latest break up, grounding, or believed "betrayal".  Maybe they're just so self-absored they can't see how good they really have it.  All of us have great lives compared to most of the world, and pretending or believing that your problems are so grand that no one could possibly understand is rather ridiculous.  Besides the fact that it's irritating, it also alienates you (perhaps the point) and really darkens your outlook.  I'm not saying these kids aren't unique, but the drama and hyperbole detracts from that instead of contributing.