's PhuseBox

Dreams- Inconsistent Angel things

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 00:53:16 -0600

Does anyone out there think satan is allowed to get into your dreams and mess with your head? Is there anything in the Bible to support or refute this?

Norse Axes and Harvest Lattes

Sat, 06 Oct 2007 11:30:27 -0500

I am now nineteen. Chris took me out to this awesome park and we ate Chinese food, then went to coffee and talked about Medieval warfare and theology for hours. I'll put up pictures if anyone wants to see.

Other news in the life of Stacy... Classes are slowly crushing me. I am actually looking forward to mid-terms.

My health is sort of getting worse. I have more bad days than good days. I might do something about it. If I ever have the time...

I am having a birthday party tonight, so that should be really fun. We are going to watch a foreign film and play games and drink pina coladas. I am probably going to wear my Nigerian shirt. Yep.

Anything else you guys want to know?

Whoa... What?

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 22:52:04 -0500

I don't see where I said I was for abortion... And why is that the only thing people zero in on? What about the government's relationship to social services? Anyone with big opinions on that?

Also, yes I have to go here, if abortion is murder, why do you say there are exceptions? I don't want tons of comments about that, just think on it.

"Kill the babies, not the homeless."

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 11:08:21 -0500

That is the tongue-in-cheek motto for the University Democrats at Lee. We came up with it because we are very tired of people assuming we are all baby-killers.

Anyway, I worked the UDems booth for this big display of all the clubs at Lee yesterday. I handed out propaganda (yes, I called it that) and tried to convince people to come if they are open-minded or in the middle, basically anyone who is not a hardcore Republican. We call ourselves the University Non-Republicans. It is more true.

The Republicans' table was right next to ours, and the girl running it was a friend who is actually a Moderate. We get along well.

So many students gave me a weird look. Some picked up the propaganda sheet and laughed at it and me. I got some evil stares from those Bible-thumping you-can't-be-a-Democrat-and-be-a-Christian kids who only know about politics from their parents and who don't think for themselves. They would look at me like I was a prostitute and ask where the Republican table was. I tried to be accepting of them because I was representing the club and all Non-Republicans, but I wanted to yell at them. I wanted to sit them down and explain why they were being stupid and mean. They have no idea what is going on the political world, they just know "Death to Hilary!" Do they not get it? I wanted to scream at them, "Fine, you won't come to my table? I think I'll just go PUNCH A BABY!"

I'm not mad anymore... Just disappointed in my fellow man, not to mention my fellow Christians.

American Girls are weather and noise...

Sat, 18 Aug 2007 10:03:24 -0500

I am at Lee now. It is nice having my own apartment finally but it is a bit of a hassle being on the edge of campus.

I am actually eating a meal close to breakfast. I woke up at 8:45 to go to a yard sale where I bought ear buds (from a friend, so they're clean) and a Mae CD called "Destination: Beautiful." It is pretty good but I am glad I only paid $1 for it.

If anyone would like to call me to chat, I would enjoy it. I am a little bored.

Like a hotel, but with needles.

Sat, 11 Aug 2007 23:47:42 -0500

Because this has gotten around to a few of you already and some of you are mad at me for not calling you, yes, I was in the hospital yesterday and today. I am out now, obviously.

I am not sick, nor am I injured. I just got a bunch of tests on my heart and I am pleased to say that I passed them all. I am not leaving on Sunday for Lee now because I still have one more test on Monday.

I didn't call anyone because I was only there for tests, and if I call one of you, I have to call all of you. Honestly, I just wanted to get out of there and visitors would have been awkward since I was all hooked up to The Matirx by a bunch of wires. I'm serious, I got out just in time. To those who have expressed it, thank you for your concern.

Sincerely,

So soon.

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 22:40:26 -0500

I am leaving on Sunday. Hanging out with anyone is virtually impossible. It is Thursday night and I still haven't packed. Oops.

:)

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 00:31:10 -0500

I have decided to smile more and laugh louder. It has been improving my life steadily.

Bye Bye Burrito

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 15:01:43 -0500

I am no longer a burrito-maker. If you didn't come see me, you have no more chances. Your life is just a little more unfortunate now.

So, I leave for Lee on the 12th. We should hang out, you and me. I miss you. Yes, you.

My computer just barked. Any help?

I knew it

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 23:25:43 -0500

Went to the Doc, in case anyone cares. Iron levels are "much better," yet I have to be on iron for six months at least. Um... I thought "much better" would mean that I would soon be off these little green pills that make me nauseous. Oh well.

Yuck.

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 23:11:21 -0500

I feel gross. Very gross. Yet I know that if I go to the doctor, nothing will be wrong. I just saved myself 20 bucks.

Phone-less

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 12:42:52 -0500

I have no clue where my phone is. Either someone jacked it at work or it fell out of my purse somewhere. Grr... If anyone needs me, shoot me an e-mail or call the house. If you're my real friend, you'll have the number... ;)

*EDIT* I found it.

Doomed to be a waitress

Sat, 09 Jun 2007 02:35:03 -0500

I feel amazingly... unproductive. An acquaintance from High School is in LA auditioning for whatever he can. He is taking a risk and pursuing his dream. He was going to play it safe and be a pharmacist, but he is doing what he loves because he can't not do it.

And what am I doing? I am working at Blue Coast Burrito-- where I get treated like crap by the owner's wife-- and sitting on my dreams. Roosting. I am roosting. I am not going to auditions. I am not even writing my story I was SO excited about. I am still excited, but I just can't seem to get past this block.

So, I have to ask the question: Am I actually talented? Could I make it? I have answered myself in this, and because of my answer I am not looking for auditions. I don't see a point.

Please, reader, don't answer the above question. That would mortify me. Just think to yourself: If God gave you a talent, even one that is weak and small, is it a sin to not do anything with it because you have tried and failed so many times you feel depressed at the thought of getting rejected again?

My friend and I have coffee every week and plan our big breaks. How he will write a character just for me and let me be his star, and he will achieve his dreams. Will it happen? Oh God! Will it happen?

CD Love

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 02:00:12 -0500

I ordered eight CDs for $52. I am very proud of myself.

Chris is gone to camp, and they hate media there. Thus, I am quite alone. You know, because none of YOU PEOPLE call me and invite me to things. I am the black sheep unless attached to one of the Chrises.

That's too bad, because I am a lot of fun.

Yes.

Thu, 31 May 2007 00:00:15 -0500

I went to Florida. It was awesome. Now I have to work a lot. Call me and we will hang out.

Why the drama, people?

Thu, 24 May 2007 12:07:52 -0500

Last night was not what I would call pleasant. I got into a heated discussion with a friend (through e-mails. Ugh!) about cursing. I quoted Eph. 4:29 (duh). I was told that the word for "Unwholesome" actually meant something like "unnecessary." O...K...

First of all, the word "sapros" means "rotten." Despite the content of the discussion or the ::ahem:: interesting Biblical interpretations, what he did next was not called for. He said that I don't know how wrong I am and he will never speak to me again.

Why did I get dropped as a friend (after about four years) just for doing what the Bible says to do? He says he is a Christian, therefore I am supposed to watch out for him and call him out on things in love (which I did) and he is supposed to do the same for me. Persecution? Naw, not really. But it did indeed cause a lot of pain. YHWH made it better, though.

Pray for this boy.
He is angry at the world, and I happened to catch one of the fire balls he was flinging at everyone.

Burrito Land

Wed, 16 May 2007 22:05:14 -0500

I work at Blue Coast Burrito in Smyrna now. Day two was today. I like it a lot. My boss is awesome, and everyone I have worked with is very pleasant. They are all genuine people. Who'd of thought?

Trying

Tue, 08 May 2007 20:31:39 -0500

I am working on being content with my grades. I got A's and an A-
Stupid A-

I learned to knit yesterday and pearl today. (I almost wrote perl... I need help.) I am learning patience.. Heh...

Working on the job thing. Interview on Thursday and hopefully this other place will call (more money). We'll see. God's got this.

Yessssssssss

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 09:29:43 -0500

I am done with algebra FOREVER! Now, I am going to take a nap and promptly forget every bit of it! God is good. And I saw my prof's grade sheet; I think I will end up with an A-. Not what I wanted, but it is ok with me. Apparently, I got one of the hardest teachers in the math dept. Why did no one warn me?

Ugh

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 18:51:55 -0500

SO close. I have my evil, nasty, awful final tomorrow. Then things are pretty nice.

AND I am going to Displace Me this weekend! You have no idea how excited/pumped/freaked out I am. And I am hoping to get people to come with me.

www.invisiblechildren.com/displaceme

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 23:53:00 -0500

Optimism sucks.

**Edit** Oh yeah, check out the pictures I took the other day. They're on facebook in the album "April Showers." You know, if you have spare time.

NEW Theme Song

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 23:36:03 -0500

I usually hate it when people post lyrics, but I just wanted people to see my strain to be optimistic. My old theme song (yes, I actually pick theme songs for life stages) was "Strawberry Fields Forever." Which, by the way, does not refer to drugs; Strawberry Fields was the name of a cemetary (at least that is what I heard). I have changed it to "Santa Fe" from the "Newsies." I won't post the whole thing:

When I dream

On my own

I'm alone but I ain't lonely

For a dreamer night's the only time of day

When the city's finally sleepin'

All my thoughts begin to stray

And I'm on the train that's bound for Santa Fe

And I'm free

Like the wind

Like I'm gonna live forever

It's a feeling time can never take away

All I need's a few more dollars

And I'm outta here to stay

Dreams come true

Yes, they do

In Santa Fe

Santa Fe

Are you there?

Do you swear you won't forget me?

If I found you would you let me come and stay?

I ain't gettin' any younger

And before my dyin' day

I want space

Not just air

Let 'em laugh in my face

I don't care

Save a place

I'll be there

Optimism... Let's try this one out.

Funny or Offensive?

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 00:02:34 -0600

http://youtube.com/watch?v=QxLL4HmBv-s

Hello, friends. Watch this video and tell me what you think. It's really short. Turn the sound up.

I thought it was hilarious (mostly because I dislike the man to begin with).

Loving

Sat, 24 Mar 2007 23:20:52 -0600

I love Africa! The whole continent! The more people I meet from different places, the more I love it. I love Swazi food, South African music, Nigerian clothes (my friend Gori gave me a shirt his mother made), Zambian babies and Pastors from Tanzania. I just... I don't know. Maybe this is God's way of telling me He wants me to go somewhere in Africa. He is turning my heart's gaze to this rich continent... And I can't help myself.

Results are in, folks!

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 19:15:47 -0600

I don't know who, if anyone, was wondering why I was feeling so sickly and gross over break and such. Tests are in and I am "iron deficient." Not all the way anemic. This doesn't make sense, because I am supposed to not feel sick at all if I am borderline. I guess my body just loves iron...

Anyway, some iron pills will fix me up just fine, and I only have to take them until I am back to normal, if there is such a thing with me.

I'm Back!

Sat, 10 Mar 2007 23:27:24 -0600

I did it! What do you think? (P.S. It looks better in person)

I need a face transplant

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 23:58:28 -0600

I am sick of my own face, voice, manner of doing things. Does anyone else get sick of themself? Really, I see mysef every day. I hear my voice every day. Ugh... I am so boring!

Finally

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 00:51:53 -0600

I DDR-ed and saw that it was good.

Start Studying

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 19:32:33 -0600

So, I found out that I have to take a personality test and a physchological test before I can go on the mission field. I wonder if Sandy can help me study... I'll never pass on my own.

Now, if only someone can help me cheat on the physical... No amount of studying will help on that one. I am going for the complete cheat.

Dreams of Swaziland

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 19:19:25 -0600

I took a class this semester simply for the fun of it. The two hours credit really do nothing for my collection of hours I need, but I just felt compelled to take this class.

Theological Reflections from Africa ISP292...

We had a guest speaker. A man named Mandla from Swaziland. Or, as he would say it, "Swazlnd." He told of his father (a polygamist) and of Zionist baptisms. We went to our prof.'s house to eat "African" food (Mandla toned it down for us) and hang out. We tried to explain to Mandla and his wife Sne that being fat (or "fluffy and good" as he said) was bad in America. I don't think it clicked.

"You must be like a ti bik." If you don't know what a "ti bik" is, you are not alone. He meant tea bag, but it came out funny. Everything he said seemed to be a sermon. I loved it.

His five-year-old son Sbo ("S-B-O") was adorable and latched onto my hand. He drew me a picture on the back of one of my assignments. I didn't mind.

Do you ever have those experiences that make you feel a strong connection with another human being totally unlike you, and you have no idea why? Thank God for them.

New Direction

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 14:49:04 -0600

I am fed up. I no longer want to pursue my goals, dreams, aspirations or supposed talents. My goal in life is going to be to have good conversations. Forget everything else. I am giving up.

::sigh:: I feel better, sort of.
P.S. Not venting. Announcing.

(Strawberry Fields Forever= New Motto)

Thought

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 01:18:25 -0600

Is it delision or perseverance to pursue what one thought one was good at even though one is rejected often? American Idol comes to mind... Heh...

Bikinis

Fri, 26 Jan 2007 01:25:33 -0600

This is just something on my mind... Humor me.

If I were to go out in public in a bra and panties I would be arrested. If I were to go out in public in a bikini, it would be fine (well, not ME in one, per se...). Discuss.

Before Tuesday!

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 21:54:20 -0600

Hey guys, go to the site and fill it out before Tuesday! It's a letter to Bush...help stop the genocide in Darfur! You can make a difference. This is really important and it takes a minimal amount of effort.

http://action.savedarfur.o

rg/dia/organizationsORG/da

rfur/campaign.jsp?campaign

_KEY=6526

Asthma is aggressive

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 17:58:16 -0600

My mom brought me a Nebulizer today! I am very happy to have it. That means that I can keep my asthma under better control. And it hopefully means that the little episode on Sunday isn't likely to happen again. Yay! I never thought I would be so pleased with medicine that takes forever to take and makes me feel gross! I didn't even think that we had an extra one I could use at school. Thanks, God.

Sociology

Thu, 11 Jan 2007 22:45:05 -0600

"If society was like a human body, I would be the appendix."

Refreshing Change

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 01:15:54 -0600

I went to the church of my senior AP English teacher on Sunday. The church isn't affiliated with any denomination that I know of. They were intellectuals. We sang old hymns, but they weren't just dead words. When the pastor prayed, there was reverent silence. It wasn't that people didn't care or weren't "responding" to the Holy Spirit. They were just listening. The pastor spoke with intelligence and poise. By the end of the sermon, I was hoping he would stop so that my mind could catch up with him. I adored it.
The Sunday School was like a lecture at Lee, but in a good way. There were some laughs and such, but there was also hardcore study. The teacher opened with a quote from Shakespeare, analyzing it as an example of existentialism and humanism. I was delighted.

Sometimes it is nice to take a break from charisma. I enjoyed quietly singing words penned so long ago, letting them seep into my soul. I felt the Holy Spirit in the way he is often not thought of by Pentecostals: the Comforter... the Teacher. I was surrounded by Christian Intellectuals who believe very strongly that how one understands God greatly affects one's life as a Christian. The mind... The focus was on the mind as much as the soul. It was so refreshing.
I sometimes feel so alone, but now I know that there are whole churches made up of people like me. Thank God.

By faith

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 02:14:05 -0600

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for...

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him...

By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country...

And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own...

Instead, they were longing for a better country--a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them...

He persevered because he saw him who was invisible...

The world was not worthy of them...

God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect."

Frustration

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 21:17:47 -0600

Humanity makes me cry.

Fun with make-up

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 01:18:07 -0600

Everyone should look at my new pictures. I wanted to try some make-up designs for fairies and my cousins were visiting. A plan brewed in my mind! They really enjoyed it, though. My friend Anna and my sister Christy joined in, too. Christy's was supposed to look like branches or roots, but it didn't really work out. I have a LOT more pictures, if anyone cares to see them.
I have realized that I cannot do regular make-up to save my life, but I really love doing stage make-up. I think the old age make-up is my favorite. If anyone wants to know what they will look like when they get old, let me know!

Newsies=goodness

Fri, 29 Dec 2006 02:04:08 -0600

"Newsies:

We need a good assassination!

We need an earthquake or a war!

Snipeshooter:

How 'bout a crooked politician?

Newsies:

Hey, stupid, that ain't news no more!"

"Jack:

Santa Fe

Are you there?

Do you swear you won't forget me?

If I found you would you let me come and stay?

I ain't gettin' any younger

And before my dyin' day

I want space

Not just air

Let 'em laugh in my face

I don't care

Save a place

I'll be there"

"
ALL:

I gotta be either dead or dreamin'

'Cause look at that pape with my face beamin'

Tomorrow they may wrap fishes in it

But I was a star for one whole minute "

This film really makes me love men. I mean, the solidarity those boys exhibit, the brotherhood, the strength. I know that isn't really how it is, but I love it anyway. It is people uniting for a cause. I don't see a lot of that anymore. Not like this film shows. People don't really unite this strongly. You have a core group that soon burns out and then a lot of floaters who come in when it is convenient. This film makes me sad and exhilarated at the same time.

Confession

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 02:05:53 -0600

I am an evil stealer of other people's pictures. Some of you take such pretty ones and I have to just swipe them. If anyone cares, let me know. You can slap me as punishment. But I get to keep your pictures. Sorry, I have already taken them, and there is no way you can get your hands on them. My dragon is keeping watch. And yes, dragons do exist. Anyone read Job 41 recently? Come on! It's a fire-breathing dragon! Since believing in such a thing has no consequence to my salvation and life as a Christian or the salvation and lives of other Christians, I have deemed it a happy delusion. Just like my theory on the dream world...

Goodness me... That is a whole conversation. If anyone cares, this is a very shortened version of my Dream World Theory:

Things that happen in dreams actually do happen in another reality that we can only access through the workings of the subconscious. Now, for people like me, this is both an extremely disturbing truth and a rather comforting one. On the one hand, the Dream Stacy is severely traumatized and should be dead by now. And on the other hand... Well... I guess I haven't thought about that hand.

That would be a good hand to think about.

Unconventional

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 20:05:35 -0600

Christmas in the hospital was interesting, but not bad at all. Those poor nurses had to step over all of our presents and stuff. We did Christmas last night. Today was spent watching stupid hospital TV and napping. The nap was wonderful, even if the nurse was loud and annoying.

Christmas can be lovely wherever you are.

New Life Plan

Sat, 23 Dec 2006 14:37:55 -0600

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.

Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.

Strawberry Fields forever.

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.

It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out.

It doesn't matter much to me.

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.

Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.

Strawberry Fields forever.

No one I think is in my tree, I mean it must be high or low.

That is you can't you know tune in but it's all right.

That is I think it's not too bad.

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.

Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.

Strawberry Fields forever.

Always know sometimes think it's me, but you know I know when it's a dream.

I think a "No" will mean a "Yes," but it's all wrong.

That is I think I disagree.

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.

Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.

Strawberry Fields forever.

Strawberry Fields forever.

Strawberry Fields forever.

Number[s]

Fri, 22 Dec 2006 21:17:08 -0600

Pray for me, please. Life gives me headaches.

The Conspiracy

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 00:09:54 -0600

About Santa. There is a lot of evidence, but I will show you one that is pretty concrete. I will highlight the major evidence.

You better watch out

You better not cry

Better not pout

I'm telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town

He's making a list

And checking it twice;

Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice

Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping

He knows when you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or good

So be good for goodness sake!

O! You better watch out!

You better not cry

Better not pout

I'm telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town

Santa Claus is coming to town

First of all, the language is harsh: "You better" do this, "You better" do that. Pushy, I'd say. Like the Man. He sees you all of the time and knows your movements. Now, Big Brother was an idea from Orwell's 1984 which wasn't published until 1949 while the song was first performed in 1934. The idea of the looming government materialized long before that, however. With Roosevelt's New Deal, the government became much more involved in regulation than it had before and some people felt very threatened. As I write this, I think that this could also apply to communism or the Nazis, which would make sense for the time (more Nazis than communism, sort of).

Then again, I could just be a crackpot. But I love these theories!

Number 11

Sun, 17 Dec 2006 15:23:33 -0600

So, Friday I had a lot of time to myself as my sisters and mom went shopping (they took Sam, too). I did my laundry, read a book, watched shows on Discovery Health about babies and cooked dinner (and made rice crispy treat shapes--giant C-mas tree and a wreath). Then yesterday I watched Sam for a long time and made egg rolls. Yes, that is MADE: I cooked the stuff to go inside and rolled them, thanks. I also taught him four or five of his colours in Spanish. We were both excited about that one.

What is happening to me? As soon as Chris leaves, I turn all domestic. I was taking baby steps before, but now I just jumped for it. Oy vey... I want to go back to being an irresponsible college student. That was fun.

There is now sufficient evidence that Santa Claus is the government's code for Big Brother. It's coming. You just wait. More on that later.

Number 10

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 23:50:35 -0600

Chris and Paul are probably flying over dangerous countries at the moment. I never get time changes right, so I have no idea if they are in the air or in a foreign country. Either way, they are far too close to commies for my comfort. I will miss Chris more than I care to think about, so I won't. So there!

I went to have coffee with my sis tonight after a lovely Wal-Mart trip. We talked for about an hour. I go to school with the girl and I never see her... How messed up is that one?

I am about to make a decision that will stay with me for the rest of my life (literally, the REST of my life), so pray that I make the right one, Oh Reader Of My Post. It is not exactly life-changing, but it is important. I'll probably let you (whoever you are) know how it turns out if you ask. Oh dear... Good times.

I love you, Oh Reader Of My Post. So much. You don't even know. Yeah, that means you.

I just realized that I have two "Number 8" posts, so this one will have to skip. Numbers hate me, and the feeling is mutual.

Number 8

Sun, 10 Dec 2006 23:55:02 -0600

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

::sigh:: I feel better

I have no idea what that was, but it was nice.

Number 8

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 16:59:10 -0600

Pied Beauty

Glory be to God for dappled things-
    For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
        For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches wings;
    Landscape plotted and pieced--fold, fallow, and plough,
        And all trades, their gear and tackle and trim.
All things counter, original, spare, strange;
    Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
        With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
                                      Praise him.

-Gerald Manley Hopkins