sunday is my new favorite night to go to the club. i've never been hit on by so many people in one night. ;)

i met some REALLY amazing people. saw some great friends. made some amazing new friends. got a few numbers.

fun stuff.

and i went to cafe coco afterwards - definitly didn't get home till 5:30 this morning. hahahaha.

spring break 07!!

and what better way to start it than ... GOING TO THE SYMPHONY?!

that's right folks. my mom's boss gave her two tickets, and she let me have them. so... Ms Kelsey Shearron and i are going to see Peter Serkin and the Navshille Symphony Orchestra perform Brahm's Piano Concerto No.2.

=D

aren't you jealous?

i don't get it.

i'd like to meet a guy that doesn't have to have sex to have a boyfreind. if that makes sense.

is that too much to ask?

... with or without a signifigant other.

... with or without restrictions, promises, attachements, or obligations.

... with no regret.

and in no particular order.

- st. petersburg - moscow - paris - rome - prague - new york city - london - ireland - bangkok - oahu - new zealand - sydney - las vegas - la - baltimore - boston - international waters - milan - athens - sicily - glasgow - strasbourg - germany -

went to lunch with Kaitlin and we swang in the freezing cold.

saw Dennis. =] we went to Cool Springs and he got me a cute shirt i really wanted... but didn't tell me he was going to. hehe. so happy.

and last night was the Winter White Party at Play. [see pictures] it was AWESOME. not too much different from a normal night at the club, just a little busier and lots of people wore white.
Dennis' bar was slammed... i think there were about 10 cumulative mintues when he wasn't making drinks.
i decided to go all-out with my outfit. dug out those white pants, frosted my hair, and even colored my eyelashed white. i looked very frosty. i kinda like the all-white thing. it's cute.
i hung out with Dani Rae and Mark most of the night. AMAZING kids. =] we had LOTS of fun.
of course saw my good friend Kyle at his bar... he makes the best cherry cokes. i tried not to hang around Dennis' bar too much cause he was way busy. but i got my kisses in. ;) haha. and i did a real good job of not getting jealous.

aanndd... now i'm just sittin around having a lazy saturday. i'm havin a lot of mixed thoughts about boyfriend stuff... but i'm trying to not let it bother me and just let it take its course. cause i'm happy - just a little unsure in some areas.

so.
i cannot WAIT to go to Play again. i hope i can resist going a 5th consecutive weekend... heh. i kinda need a break.

i'd love it if i had a boyfriend that noticed small, quirky things about me that not a lot of people notice or that i don't even realize. and then told me about them at random, sweet times.

like... i'd love that

and there're things that i do, that i do notice, that i purposly don't point out to people, cause i want to wait for that guy to notice... and for him to be the first.

just thought i'd share

so friday i went to the club - of course. it's always so fun goin with Elliott and Bradford. =]
got hit on a lot.
i decided to talk to bar tenders, beCAUSE, they are among the few people that are totally sober. and they're real sweet. =D

saturDAY was really good. i went to the DBS Fashion Show with Hope - and it was adorable. then we had Chili's.
NEXT TIME you go to Chili's - try the Shanghi Boneless Wings!!! they're SO good.
saturday night was... drama.
but i think it's worked out now.

yesterday i just worked... then i went to GAME night. haha. it was sssssoooooo fun.
yeah. that's all. =]

but that was my CRAZY weekend.

and today is a good day to just stay at home - since it's all icky outside.
now i just have to resist spending money on itunes.

=]

ah, 14-year-olds and their reasoning.

and thanks for all the support guys. i know not all Christians are like that. i am one.

and i love all of you!

now if this was her attempt to share Christ with me, it was a bad one. God would never call someone a "fagot" (btw - it has two Gs) and condemn them to hell.

anyway. i replied with "you're a bitch who can't spell. have a nice day" which was prolly kinda immature... but whatev.
and she wrote back "fuck u 2 hell boy.. ima pray 4 u"

which is also a poor attempt to share God's love - if that's what she was trying to do.

i don't know about you, but i don't want someone who's gonna call me a fag and say "fuck you" to me to be praying for me.
i think the one that needs prayer is her.

so let this be a lesson to all of us to truly be Christlike when we're trying to witness.
abrasion never got anyone anywhere.

i'd love it if i had a boyfriend that noticed small, quirky things about me that not a lot of people notice or that i don't even realize. and then told me about them at random, sweet times.

like... i'd love that

and there're things that i do, that i do notice, that i purposly don't point out to people, cause i want to wait for that guy to notice... and for him to be the first.

just thought i'd share

is that a weird thing to think about? it just struck me as odd.

sorry if anyone's offended... imperfections are what makes people perfect, though.

love

so far it sounds like it's gonna be amazing! my weekend is PACKED - but it's all about me. hehehehe.

tonight... i think my boo is comin over. hehehe. so excited.

and tomorrow i'm chillin with my dad and my step-family. they ALWAYS celebrate birthdays at their house.
and tomorrow night i'm gonna see some close friends.

then sunday (my actual birthday) my mom and i are gonna go get a camera and go over to my sister's house for a party!

and sunday night, i'm gonna have dinner with everyone from work!! EVEN BRIDGET!!!!!

so.

thanks everyone for helping this birthday to be the best ever.

why my name is never used where people could see it
why my comments aren't always approved
why your orientation is "no answer"
weather or not we are or aren't

some things make me sad

how much i miss you
how busy we are

some things make me wonder

why i can't think of anyone but you
why i feel bad if i do

but

there's a lot that makes me happy

like... you.

"i'm in love with a man i can't have, but the beat goes on... and on... and i cry and i try... but all hope is lost... and the beat goes on... but the boys are fine and the peanut butter better so just shake your body and kiss my lips and try to cry to see the beat behind my eyes. why? because i'm in a pink intertube with a french horn player and a homo and my name is hodki... the beat just goes on. and i scream in my dreams of swing and model my cute clothes with gay boys lookin good but outa reach."

good memories.

i can't give blood.

bet ya'll can guess why.

yep - "iron deficiency"

i'm exhausted.

and i just want my life back.

i don't do anything but go to school and work any more.

plus side: (if you can call it that) i have a week off work in october. well. five days. but still.

life
sucks

... and when i used to ALWAYS do cool stuff to my pictures. for some reason i'm not good at it any more.

i meet SO many awesome people. (hi ALEX) hahaha. and those three awesome chicks i rang around the rosie with. i only remember Valerie's name... and Ju's nickname. and that Michael guy (jessi's bf) and those skater kids... aanndd... Corey and Travis!

yeah. good times.

i don't really have anything to write about.

except that i'm extremely thankful for all of my close friends. anoyone who's stuck with me through it all. anyone who's been there for me, or who i've been there for. anyone who makes me laugh or who's there when i need to cry. anyone who's actually seen me cry. anyone who puts up with my crap, weather it's me being conceited or self-concious.

i love you guys. so so much.

thanks, God. and thanks, freinds, for being mine. i hope i've been as good a friend to you all as you've been to me.

love, stevie

yummy. who loves target?!

but yeah.

a lot's been goin on. nothing i feel like going into.

-bam-

i no joke was in Subway from 6 to 10 [minus the time i spent going to gas stations and kroger looking for temporary tattoos]

it was great to see those girls!

being seventeen is kinda boring.

scratch that.

being seventeen in murfreesboro is kinda boring.

[link]

on one hand, it seems fascinating and i want one. on the other, i'm kind of appalled and worried.

strange...

i am hopelessly in love with Rufus Wainwright.

can anyone help me?

stuff's lookin up, i guess.

i'm in a better mood than i have been in the past few days, and stuff isn't quite as confusing.

so it's lookin up.

{edit}
scratch that.

what is people's damn problem with me? why are so many people suddenly resentful towards me? do they expect me to know everything that's going on with stuff, when they don't even make an effort to let me know?!

whatever.

if people have a problem with me being me, that's their deal. i've done nothing to no one.

i'm torn.

i'm not sure if i should
a) do what someone did to me, to even things out
or
b) give them another chance and see if they're being truthful

or i guess there's
c) don't really do ither, and see what happens. like not really say or do anything and see if they come around

but i've gotta decide by 6 tonight.

ah well.

well.

i'm torn.

i'm not sure if i should
a) do what someone did to me, to even things out
or
b) give them another chance and see if they're being truthful

or i guess there's
c) don't really do ither, and see what happens. like not really say or do anything and see if they come around

but i've gotta decide by 6 tonight.

ah well.

{edit}
by doing (a) i'd be doing what everyone tells me i should do... and i don't know if that's what i want to do. take their advice? or do what i hope is what i want to do?

i wish they could just say "no, i don't want to hang out" or "hey, thanks for your number, but i'm not gonna call you"

sure, blunt honesty might hurt, but not half as bad as being stood up or waiting by the phone does.

just be honest.

even if it's not what i want to hear.

that's like an hour-point-five

never showed up

boo

One word breaks the code of silence
Silence tells me all I need to know
One Word
One Word, tells me everything I need to know

One world driven in to madness
Madness driven by the depths below
One Word
One Word, tells me everything I need to know

It's not the way that I want it
It's just the way that I need it
Day after day
It's not the way that I want it
It's just the way that I need it
Day after day

One lie tells a thousand stories
The greatest stories that were ever told
One Lie
One Lie, tells the greatest stories ever told

One man can predict the future
a future journey in to outer space
One Man
One Man, a future journey in to outer space

It's not the way that I want it
It's just the way that I need it
Day after day

It's not the way that I want it
It's just the way that I need it
Day after day

It's not the way that I want it
It's just the way that I need it
Day after day

and chased them with my nephews.

i was driving home with the windows down and the electronica up, and it smelled like summer.

i loved it.

and Mrs. Kelley Paison was stunning. it was good to see those kids. i couldn't stop smiling during the wedding. ^_^

and ... Stevie has a crush on a punk rocker. ::giggle:: i don't wanna say too much though.

<3

there'll be more later...

then we went to Opry Mills with Kasey, Abby, and Brock. that was fun. i was kinda annoyed for a while at first... but then i went in an OXYGEN BAR at the mall and it was awesome. it really does calm you down and stuff. i loved it. then i was happy.

we had fun.

good night.

Crashed on the floor when I moved in
This little bungalow with some strange new friends
Stay up too late, and I'm too thin
We promise each other it's til the end
Now we're spinning empty bottles
It's the five of us
With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust
I can't resist the day
No, I can't resist the day

Jenny screams out and it's no pose
'Cause when she dances she goes and goes
Beer through the nose on an inside joke
I'm so excited, I haven't spoken
And she's so pretty, and she's so sure
Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her
Summer's all in bloom
Summer is ending soon

It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses

Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
I sneak into his car's cracked leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last

It's alright
And I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades in white houses

My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake

Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
So I go, and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses
I lie, put my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us
In white houses

And you, maybe you'll remember me
What I gave is yours to keep
In white houses
In white houses
In white houses
In white houses

-Imogen Heap "Hide and Seek"

they can break me, make me, if they want they can chase me.
love me, hate me, i don't care any more.

till you, i was nothin but lonely nights,
there was nothin but sad goodbye's for me to fall through.
come true, my dreams are awakening
somebody is makin me the only one in the room.
what no body could do, no body till you.

and the more you talk, the less i fear.
no matter what you say, we're still on the same hemisphere.
and there's comfort in just knowing that wherever i go
a part of me is stayin here. with you.

so take me, shake me, if you want you can chase me.
love me for me, and stay away from the door.

till you, i was nothin but lonely nights,
there was nothin but sad goodbye's for me to fall through.
come true, my dreams are awakening
somebody is makin me the only one in the room.
what no body could do, no body till you.

what kinda world would it be if you ever went away?
oh. and i, i can't go back to what i had,
cause it will never be the same.

till you, i was nothin but lonely nights,
there was nothin but sad goodbye's for me to fall through.
come true, my dreams are awakening
somebody is makin me the only one in the room.
what no body could do, no body
till you, i was nothin but lonely nights,
there was nothin but sad goodbye's for me to fall through.
come true, i'm awakening, you're shakin me
no body knew what to do, no body till-
no body till you, there were lonely nights.
till you, there were sad goodbye's.
come true, i'm awakening, you're shakin me.
no body knew what to do, no body till-

no body till you.

-Lindsay Lohan "nobody till you"